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Ok ladies ... let's talk about getting older!! 

Now I'm at the 30 mark... ok a bit more than 30... ok ok I'm 30 fucking 5... I don't class this as being old but I do class it as being 'older'. 


Remember when you were younger and you couldn't wait till you were an adult (how fucking stupid were we) so you can do whatever you like,  nobody told you that whatever you like at 30 fucking 5 was being in bed at a reasonable time while enjoying a nice mug of Horlicks and maybe the bonus of a good documentary! Talking about documentarries, I do love a good old nature one or maybe something a little more interesting like the structure of the hair follicles (seriously people what has happened to me...) 

Oh god birthdays as you get older too! Dear lord how shit are they? Don't even get me started on the bloody presents... Why suddenly am I getting tena lady and fem fresh? Not actually sure if that is because of age or someone is trying to tell me to sort the old lady garden out in a polite way (don't actually know why I said 'politely' as let's be fair there's no polite way to say " I'm gifting you this as there's a bit of a hum coming from your flu flu) ....

Lavender and rose smellies!! Seriously peeps why the fuck do you suddenly want me to smell like lavender or rose... or is it to hide the smell of piss you obviously think I smell like which would explain the tena lady!! 




But I have to admit, as I've got older I've become so much more comfortable in myself, I'm not sure if that's age or the fact I'm soo tired all the time or I just don't give a shit anymore. When I was younger every part of my body was shaved within an inch of its life, hair beautifully done, not a bit out of place. Makeup so good it looked as if I just walked out a beauty parlour... 




Now at the grand age of 30 fucking 5, I'm lucky if I even brush my hair, I've taken the messy bun to a whole other level... thank god for trousers as I haven't shaved for the last 3 months (ok ok, last 3 years). I've even taken up working out just so I can have an excuse to wear sweat pants all day... but there is an upside of getting older... ALCOHOL!! Just make sure you have your tena lady on as it can cause outbursts of laughter... age and having 2 kids and laughter are a mixture for fucking disaster if you're not fully prepared!!

So ladies just be comfortable with yourself, embrace those tena lady, the unshaven skin, the chin hair that fucking appears from nowhere making you look pretty similar to zz top, the lady garden that the new forest would be proud of... because guess what .. we have ALCOHOL... 

From a tena lady zz top drunk 30 fucking 5 year old xxx 


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