Tip one: Stop stressing out so much! After all, the fact that you’re reading this means you’re being far too hard on yourself. As if there is even such a thing as a perfect mother, wife or businesswoman (let alone all three).
So there you have it. Step one. Take a breath. Slow down. Relax. Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. That right there will probably already make you better at all three. After all, dwelling on the negative rarely gets us very far.
Okay, so that’s it. That’s the article. What? You want more? Okay, fine. But don’t act like I don’t ever give you anything.
You’re not a speeding bullet. You don’t have more hours in a day than anybody else. You can’t do the work of ten men (nine, maybe – but that still doesn’t mean much).
So what can you do to get more done? Delegate! The first step is to bring aboard the kids and get them to take responsibility for their own actions. Done correctly, this can actually boost their self-esteem.
The trick is to give them tasks that they can actually complete, then scaling it up. Now, admittedly in the beginning – especially when your kids are young – they’re going to need more time than you do. Still, keep at it. They’re children, they learn quickly and if you give them the time to learn, then sooner rather than later they’ll be able to take all sorts of chores off your hands.
Of course, your partner needs to help as well. The trick with them is to tell them beforehand, rather than to scold them afterward. The former leads to a more constructive relationship, where you’re on equal footing. The latter makes your partner think you’re a nag.
Realize how valuable your time is. If you get paid 50 dollars an hour at work, then why would you do a job you can pay somebody else $20 an hour to do for you? Free up your time by getting the stuff you don’t like to do done by somebody else!
And the good news is that that’s become immensely easy to do in the last 10 years. Tons of new apps and services have come out that mean that other people can easily be contacted to do some of the things for you. In that way, even if you don’t want to hire a full-time nanny, or cleaner, or gardener, you can still get them when you don’t have time.
There are a ton of services, but possibly one of the better ones is Hello Alfred.
This website will allow you to get things done in the home while you’re out getting the more important stuff sorted. They can pick up groceries, drop off packages and do things around the house for you.
It’s such a simple word. And yet so many of us don’t seem to have it in our vocabulary. When you can’t do something because you have other obligations in another part of your life play the ‘no’ card. It really is wonderful.
What’s more, if used correctly, people will realize that you can’t be pushed over and they can’t just expect you to do whatever they want. And you know what happens then? Then their respect for you actually rises. And you won’t get passed over for that promotion.
Of course, that can only happen if you respect yourself. So give yourself that respect. Use the word ‘no’ when you have to.
A lot of women feel that they can’t admit to being a mother and a wife. As a result, their bosses often ask things of them that aren’t actually possible for them – like working weekends or taking business calls while they’re watching the kids.
Don’t let that happen! Make it clear that you’ve got a life outside the office and that it also is important to you. Know where to draw your boundaries. If you’re working at one of the resumes.expert, they’ll appreciate where you’re coming from.
What’s more, if done correctly, then when you are at work you’ll be in a much better position to actually concentrate full-tilt on what you’re supposed to do. If you don’t do it, then your different worlds will constantly be colliding and you’ll never be able to fit your three different hats.
A lot of people think that if they’re successful then they’ll be happy. It turns out that these people are putting the carriage before the horse. Harvard Psychology Shawn Achor in his book The Happiness Advantage explains how if we’re happy, then we’re far more likely to be successful. It makes us more productive, boost our memory, helps us be more creative and makes our lives and work better in countless other ways.
For that reason, find time to do those things that make you happy. In that way, you’ll be able to much better at being a wife, a businesswoman and a mother.
Some quick ideas:
There is no such thing as perfection. There is only doing the best we can. At the same time, that really should be enough. We should be satisfied with that. We’re juggling a lot of hats. Sometimes one slips. That’s life.
Don’t blame yourself for it. Relax. Breathe. Try out the tips that I’ve given here. If you can do all that you’ll be well on your way.