I really try to get it all done. The harder I try...the more I seem to be behind. My house is never clean enough...I never spend enough quality time with my kids....my husband feels neglected (POOR BABY!)...the laundry. The list goes on and on.When I was growing up, my mom had it under control. She worked. The laundry was always done and PUT UP...it never stayed in various baskets throughout the house. Dinner was on the table at 6 p.m. sharp every night. AND..it wasn't frozen pizza or chicken nuggets. It was meat and 'taters...vegetables (that she actually grew in the garden) and milk or tea. No koolaid...no soft drinks. More often than not...we had dessert. She chaufferred us from activity to activity...all the while keeping her cool and never getting frustrated.What am I doing wrong? Where did I fail?Looking back, life was different then. Gawd...I'm sounding old. But it's true. We played outside...all the time. Mom had to threaten us to come in at night. She didn't have to worry about some stranger stealing us out of the neighborhood. She didn't have to worry about us getting hurt and being alone. She knew that the other moms in the neighborhood would be there if she wasn't. The other moms were our moms too. They covered our boo-boo's with bandaids and gave us hugs. They also dished out discipline just as freely. They didn't worry that my mom was gonna get mad. They knew they were treating me like their own...and my mom appreciated and expected it.So many times I hear other mothers say, "She better never lay a hand on my child" or "My kid didn't do that...she's just picking on my kid." When did we as mothers become a group against each other? You know they say it takes a village to raise a child...now, it takes a bunch of pissed of mothers, a referee and a mediator.My mom didn't buy me a toy every time we went to the store. She said "NO" and that was OK. I didn't develop any psychological feelings of abandonment or insecurities. Instead, I understood that sometimes my parents could afford to buy me things and sometimes they couldn't...and it was alright. I got what I needed. I got a great appreciation of working hard for the things I have and cherishing them. I didn't think money grew on trees and that life was just supposed to give me what I wanted. It was a great life lesson.I was made to understand that what I did have was alot more than other kids...and that I was lucky to have it. I continually heard about starving kids in Africa and that they would be eternally grateful for the meatloaf my mom made for dinner....and that if I didn't want to eat it...that was fine...but I would have to wait for breakfast for my next meal. There would be no chicken nuggets or hot dogs instead. She wasn't gonna be a short order cook. Mom knew I would be fine missing one meal...and that it wasn't child abuse.Mom also didn't "spare the rod." I know there is a huge debate on spanking...and I can tell you I don't spank like my parents spanked me...but I probably should. If I back talked...my mouth might get mashed. Now, I'm not talking about a full handed smack on the face...but a little pop...just enough not to really hurt, but to startle me. And you know what...it worked. I learned quick to be polite and respectful. The reason mom had all this time to get things done...is because she didn't put up with shit like we do. She was in charge and meant business. If she needed to get the house clean...she had us clean our rooms and help with the others....or sent us out side to get out of her hair. She told us what to do and what not to do and made us follow the rules. We didn't need a "naughty chair."We followed her directions (most of the time) and life happened. She knew we'd turn out OK.

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Scarborough, Canada

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Manchester, United Kingdom

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Concord, NC, United States




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