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I read an article about how people who get the cold shoulder perceive the temperature in the room they are in to be chilly (3 degrees less than the actual temperature). Coincidentally, it was tres, tres cold today when I did the school run with Big Fry. Pourquoi?

La Mom was on the receiving end of a very direct stare down from one of the French moms in front of the school gates. I couldn't understand why. I mean, I was dressed in my designer jeans, Paul & Joe top, Tod's mules, Prada bag, diamonds, and had my hair blown-out. I looked very chic (or so I thought). So what was wrong with me?

It took a few minutes of studying my habitat before it dawned on me that I wasn't one of them.

Who?

Well that brings us to La Mom's fun new game called, "Mommy Profiling."

Today's Maman du Jour:

The Bourgeoise

Mom Natural habitat: Paris´ 7th, 8th, 16th & 17th arrondissements, Neuilly-sur-Seine, Western suburbs

Hangouts: church, the clothing stores Cyrillus & Acanthe

Uniform : This mom likes to camouflage herself in shades of loden and navy blue. Her armor screams, « I´m old money and have a crumbling family château - back off, cherie. »

How to spot her: A true bourgeoise mom can always be spotted by her efficient and very boring bob, requisite velvet headband, either a scratched leather Longchamps handbag circa 1995 or the Longchamps foldup nylon bag, and telltale jewlery: a ruby or emerald engagement ring surrounded by small diamonds (I think the style is referred to as a flower) and of course the gold signet ring (with the family crest)on the right-hand pinky. Oh, and I almost forgot "CPCH" - colllier de perles (pearl necklace) carre Hermes (Hermes scarf). She won´t let her kids set foot in the Parc Monceau sandbox because there´s "caca de chat" in there.

Raison d´Etre : L´education. Not as in "I´ll die if petit Jean-Baptiste doesn´t get into Harvard"-- more like, "How can I hold my head up in public if Louis-Pierre can´t cut his entrecôte properly by age 2? "

Profession: Her life is completely dedicated to raising her 4, 5 , or 6 children. See "Raison d´Etre".

Vacations: Family´s country house in Normandy

Family name: Most likely has a "de", "de la", or "double de" mixed in. For example, "Bonjour, I'm Victoire de Varenne de Royal."

Children´s names: Boys - Jean- xxx (insert: Louis, Pierre, Edouard) Auguste, Girls - Marie-XXX (insert: Marguerite, Claire, Marie, Ange, Louise) Philomène, Apolline, Sixtine, Faustine, Domitille

Coming soon...profiling pictures!

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Comment by La Mom on September 24, 2008 at 7:07pm
Hi, this is my first time commenting so I hope this gets back to you Jaime and Stacey.

Jaime - I'm full of advice. What would you like to know specifically? I can help you with anything!

Stacey, Merci for your review! I'm not a very confident blogger, but maybe I should continue? I tell my husband that blogging (venting) is cheaper than paying a therapist.
Comment by Stacey Crew on September 22, 2008 at 9:56pm
Hysterical! I visited France quite a long time ago and was coming off the metro, unsure of which direction to go, I asked a woman "Parle vous Anglais?" Well, she did, but refused...and it turned out she was American and quite offended that I didn't speak French. Go figure.

I LOVED Paris and have been back since, but be sure to bring a sweater because it does get a little cold. Hold your head high American Sister in your Prada and diamonds!
Comment by Jaime on September 22, 2008 at 9:03pm
I'm coming to Paris in June for the first time. Any advice?

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