I love my husband. I do.
Last night we went to bed around 11:30p.m. At 4:45 a.m. this is what happened.
I was asleep on my side, facing outward. The same is true every night. He slept flat on his back.
He must've jerked (which he often does) and it woke me. I'm glad it did. I wouldn't have wanted to miss this. All of the sudden he jerked toward his side of the bed. Hard. It all happened so fast it was hard to process. I barely turned my head to see what the hell was going on...all I saw were arms grasping at air. (Our bed stands 4ft high) I think he may have been trying to grab the covers, or maybe a hope and a prayer. He was almost successful. But somehow I was coherent enough to know to hold tight.
It was the loudest thud EVER. I did good. I quietly and slowly said, "Honey...what are you doing?" He was pissed. Actually, I think he was several things...pissed, embarrassed, frustrated, tired, but above all confused. He said "I fell off the bed. Damn. It." "Son of a Bitch."
I don't know exactly what happened next, but according to him (much later in the day) his foot was stuck under something. He attempted to stand up. Not once, not twice, but 3 times. It sounded like someone was wrestling him, or hiding under the bed holding onto his foot. At one point, when he was trying to stand, he fell to a knee. And the combination of words that came out of his mouth were so randomly vulgar I thought I would die. He said, "Was that funny to you?" Ummmmm. You bet.