Such a controversy! I've been involved in this discussion with my cousin and trusted friends more times then I care to admit.
My partner and I personally go back and forth on this subject. We have not only on tried out each side of the fence, but we have actually sat on the fence just trying to figure it all out.
My personal biggest issue with spanking is this, I would never hit anyone. Why would I hit a child any child! It isn't logical to me.
I was spanked and there are several points to this. A) When I got spanked, whatever it was that I did never happened again - PRO. B) It taught me to be afraid of her and to lie to her - CON. C) She always went overboard in spanking. It boarder lined beating, so this throws my judgment off a little on this topic too - CON D) My partner was only spanked once in her entire childhood and she turned out to be honest, respectful and successful - PRO/CON. So you can see why we have wavered on this.
She and I have had conversations with our 3 year old that we are not in favor of spanking, however, there are a few things that will warrant it if behaviors don't change, and explained to him what they were. We also told him that it is something that we don't like to do, don't want to do, and hope that we don't have to do. Well, I think he has taken this just a little too much to heart. I had the day from Hell with him today.
I sat him down and made it very clear that if mom doesn't want to spank, that's her decision. However, I will spank for specific reasons, all three of them specifically named! He nodded, said yes and the remainder of our day has been turned around.
My partner and I are always on the same track, and we have never let them play divide and conquer. She and I will obviously discuss it when she gets home at the end of the week. I know that she will support me 100% in my decision. We trust each other's opinions and she knows how hard it can be to be alone with them when she's gone, and that they are so, so smart.
And there you have it. Over days of lamenting over it, my decision was brought full circle today and set in stone.
Wish me and my "Mommy Pants" good luck. It makes me sick and sadder then I ever imagined that it would to spank my child. I guess that I'll be buying a lot of starch for my pants!
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