My daughter was due in mid February. She was born two months early. My intelligent mind tells me it wasn’t my fault – I did nothing to make this happen and today, she is healthy and strong. My intelligent mind can reason. My emotional heart can’t forgive. I know it isn’t rational but there it is.
I was not able to protect her when she needed it most. So perhaps I may overindulge a bit now in my tendency to control her environment. (I’m sorry but those grapes really, really DO need to be quartered – I don’t care if she is two.)
Pre-baby I was pretty carefree and easy going. I didn’t live in a sheltered bubble.
But I have been told that many women who otherwise are pretty chill, get a bit, hmmmmmmm, zealous when it comes to protecting their new little one. Especially when they have held them weighing in at only three-and-a-half pounds.
My husband would say this should read “Some Things I’m Not Afraid Of”, meaning of course that I am the stereotypical hysterical mother. Hysterical I am not. Cautious, well, yeah, maybe.
I am afraid that if I lift my daughter up too high when the ceiling fan is on that I will lop off her head.
I am afraid that she will eat too much toothpaste and grow a tooth in a weird place, like her jaw.
I am afraid, as many mother’s are, that I will turn my back at exactly the wrong time and she will climb/run/grab something, anything she shouldn’t.
I am afraid that she won’t potty train by three and be turned away from the pre-school room, possibly scarring her emotionally into adulthood.
I’m afraid her hair won’t ever grow in at those little places on the sides that make her look like she has a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet.
I am afraid she will grow up and move very far away.
I am afraid I will warp her in some strange and unforeseen way if she ever discovers how crazy I really am.
I guess as we all do, I will continue on, loving her and trying hard not to stifle her sense of adventure and joy.
Today a cracker fell on the ground at the community pool. She reached for it. I felt myself begin to lunge.
Then I stopped. She ate it. Five second rule wins. Or is it ten…?
________________________ Art imitates life, and life imitates art.
What I see every day influences what I create, so writing this blog and creating my designs are natural extensions of who I am.
If you are interested in viewing my designs, primarily for kids but also some cool stuff for adults and also doggies (who we all know are integral parts of all families) check them out at:
See you around the mountains and canyons of northern AZ!
“If you don’t laugh at life, it sneaks up and bites you in the ass!”