Here is a blog that I posted a few months ago on my family home page..just wanted to share it here too..
Ive never been more used!
Current mood: grateful
I have never been more used..in a good way! Earlier this week my daughter had earned a free pizza. So, I take her in to get it and while we are waiting for our order I balance my check book. The lady waiting on us brings me a drink. After i pay bills, I thank God that I have enough money to pay bills and some left over to spend after I have saved..and then this feeling over comes me. I knew instantly what I was being called to do..a number comes into my mind..a number of a certain amount of money I am suppose to leave to this woman..whatever, Im not doing it..this is my money..no way..Im crazy!
I think to myself.."This is nuts..I cant leave that much..I need it" and I try to think of something else. To no avail..the feeling becomes so powerful that I get up and start walking around ..(do I sound nuts yet?)..Our order is ready and I write an amount on the tip line..not the number I was told to leave..but still a nice tip. I get in the car and the feeling of overwhelming shame hits me..I knew that i was to leave this amount and I did not do it. I call Virgil and try to explain the situation. Once he knew that I wasnt hearing voices, he tells me to stop at the ATM and take the rest to the woman. (Do I have a great guy or what)
By this time Im PISSED..I dont want to leave the money..and now I have to walk my happy ass BACK in the place and hand her some more money? Awquard! I take the money and fold it into a small square and drive back. As Im walking into the store ANOTHER thing hits me.."Tell her who it is from" and I knew right away that I was to tell her that GOD had asked me to do this. "Okay GOD..as if i dont look like a nut ball already..you want me to walk in their and say Hey, this is from God?" Yep, thats exactly what he wanted..Im arguing in my little head the whole way.."I cant do that..Ill look stupid..or crazy..why are you diong this to me God..why cant I just slip the money and leave? Do you hate me..you want me commited?" It must have been a sight to see me at that moment..arguing with god in my mind as i walk into the store. So, I go in and the lady is counting out her drawer and getting ready to go. I ask to speak to her. She comes over and stands only to my chin..I lean over trying to whisper and of course she cant hear me..(Great, not only do I have to say this..but I get the one person who is hard of hearing and i have to speak up?Can this get any better?) I lean over and very quickly say.."I came in and left you an amount that I was not suppose to" She reaches in her pocket to hand me back the 10 dollars..and I realize now Im in deep and have to keep going.
"No no .." I explain..I took a deep breath and leaned over into her ear.."God asked me to give you a certain amount and Im here to give you the rest.." She looks scared and confused (so do I by the way)..lol..I placed the money in her hand and hugged her and said " Christ has asked me to give this to you and you need to know that this is from him not me" I hurried and walked out..as I was leaving she opened her hands and exclaimed.."Oh my god!" I said EXACTLY, HAVE A BLESSED DAY! and left..I left very embarrased, confused and upset that I gave that much money away. So, thats the end of my story? NO WAY..you know me..lol
These last few days I have been feeling stupid..I wouldnt tell anyone of what happened except for my hubby and kara..Kara informed me that if God was telling me to give away money I could have come to her..lol
This morning I was sitting at my desk when my students were gone and my phone rings..Virgil says "Ive got some pretty good news thats going to make you feel great" He proceded to tell me that he walked into a conversation at work in which a man that works in this restaraunt at night was telling the story of this woman leaving a huge tip and how the woman had said God told her to do it. Virgil, not being embarased of me says 'That was my wife".
The guy tells my husband that the lady I gave the money to had been praying that morning. Her husband lost his job and she had just found out that her kids wanted to come visit her for the holidays. She had prayed that morning for God to help her make 100 dollars that day to help get her kids home. She had only made 50 and was feeling defeated and let down. 10 mins before her shift ended a woman walked in and handed her 50 dollars and told her it was from GOD..she broke down crying and has been spreading Gods message and how he touched her that day.
I cried at my desk. How ironic that my husband walked into that converstaion and was able to give me the validation that it was my Lord that lead me to this woman. Sometimes we pray and feel like we hear nothing..I realized today that sometimes WE ARE THE ANSWERS TO OTHERS PRAYERS! I praise him and thank him for giving me the courage to share this story..as i havent stopped sharing it since this morning! This blog is my tribute to my creator..whom I have doubted and who has restored my faith. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE USED IN MY LIFE!!
Thanks for sharing this with me..at least for now you will all have to face the fact that Im not crazy...lol ( I was wondering myself!)