i've been feeling very thankful lately. not that i am ungrateful ever, but sometimes things just make me feel more thankful. this usually happens when i have a bad day. like when i look down and see a stone missing from my engagement ring, or walk into ellie's room and can instantly tell that her diaper has failed us. or when i am totally ready to go to bed 10 and avery wants to stay awake until 1am. or when i keep getting hospital bill after hospital bill. followed up by some doctor and lab bills. what's the point of having insurance anyway if they hardly pay anything? but then i have to take a deep breath and be thankful that i am married to a wonderful man-who cares about a ring? and that the reason why i am so tired is because we have been blessed with 2 beauties who are thriving and energetic and healthy. i am still trying to figure out a way to be thankful for the hospital bills. when i figure that out i will let you know.

earlier i was reminiscing about a time when Saturday meant sleeping in all day to prepare for a wild night on the town and then to be followed up with more sleeping in in Sunday. sometimes when i have to start the morning with "emergency baths" and "emergency laundry" (meaning that those things had to be done because someone peed or pooped on them,) i miss those days. no responsibilities, hardly any bills. just living for me and only me. i never had groceries or good water, but heck, i had shoes. then i hear the sweetest little voice say, "hi mom," or "how are you mommy?" or i see avery's little feet sticking out of her blanket and suddenly i am transported back to reality and i realize that being a mom is a wonderful experience that i wouldn't trade for anything. i love what the past has lead to, a wonderful and rewarding (if sometimes sleepless) life!

here is my big girl being a little wierdo. love that shopping cart as a necklace! and she really likes that mat, but it's suppossed to be for her sister! oh well, it was hers first i guess.

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