This week I celebrated my daughter’s nine month birthday. It seems hard to believe that nine months have passed since she arrived. So many exciting things have happened in her development and each day I am in awe as her little personality emerges.
In those nine months we have been inundated with pink clothes, midnight feedings, the sighing sound she makes when she sleeps and of course the squeals she makes when she’s awake. She’s brought so much to our world and I am grateful that she chose us as her parents.
Of course, I could go on and on about all the amazing things that have transpired since her arrival, but what I really want to talk about is that in those nine months, the number of times that I’ve had sex I can count on both my hands.
Having a baby is a huge transformation and it seems that once the labour part is over and all of the healing has taken place (in my case I had a caesarean section), we expect ourselves and are expected, by our partners, to kick into gear and resume our sexual routine. NOT!
I would like to know why no scientific grants or government money is allotted to study the effects and conditions of post-pregnancy sexual stimuli. I myself have had to, on numerous occasions, explain to my husband that “not feeling like it” has nothing to do with him. Additionally I have had to explain (and this is where I think the scientist should step in) that Mom’s body and brain are on other things.
Of course, before baby came, having one’s breast massaged and paid attention to felt good, tantalizing and erotic. But now after continuous nursing, suckling and, if your child is older like mine, tugging, biting and trying to hang on while turning to see Sesame Street, has pretty much ensured that all of those feelings are shut off and gone. I actually believe my brain has HAD TO remove all sense of sexual stimulation to that area because now having my child nursing seven to ten times a day–in the car, at the playground, in the restaurant bathroom–has basically zapped the “ I’m still an sexual entity” right out of me . Now my breasts are no longer for playing with, they’re here to perform a job.
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