It's true, and I'll say it again, A Divided Home is a Happy Home.
Remember awhile back when I talked about cheap therapy, and then I ranted and raved about marriage and family therapist, Shelby Riley? (If you're new, you can read it here
) Well, I decided to put into practice one of her e-books, 10 Weeks to Increased Intimacy and Connection.
It was time, given all this "embrace your role"
crap that's been going around.
We finally scheduled a meeting for this weekend, and hashed out assignment one. Chores & Responsibilities.
And whew, can I just say, I am now a happy woman?
The big thing that we came to agreement
on before anything was that simply caring for the kids is a full time job. That alone is equivalent to the 40 hours at his job. So, in both
knowing that, it was decided that all the chores and responsibilities are extra, and NOT
included in our "jobs." (read: MY job.) So, um, ya...really glad we got clear on that.
After that was written in stone and tattooed on his forehead, we sat down and collectively wrote out all the chores and responsibilities of the home, from cooking to trash to paying the bills. Then, per Shelby's suggestion, we rated each chore based on how much time or how hard it was. Such as, trash got one star for being easy, vacuuming got four.
Are you getting the picture here?
Once everything was listed and rated, we then went through and picked the things we didn't mind doing. After that, we divided up the rest based on points and did our best to make our list (according to point value) even. In the end, he had 15 points worth of chores and I had 17. (I'm going to resist being a martyr here.)
Also, let the record show that he
chose cooking from the list. HE CHOSE IT.
Willingly and on his own. In fact, let the record show once more, I even offered to take 2 nights a week.
You see, I am beginning to grasp this whole...wait what was that word again? Starts with a "c?" Hmm, oh well, it's lost on me at the moment. Ooooh, compromise...that's right.
But then he asked what I was planning on cooking those nights, and when I responded spaghetti or tuna melts, he decided it was a chore he was willing to accept responsibility for.
So, there you go. We divided up our list, we printed it out and put it on the refrigerator, and now we have a happy home. We parted ways agreeing on meeting again about this in two months to see how our loads are, and to see if there needs to be any changes.
Like I said, A Divided Home is a Happy Home. You should try it.
Life is good, I'm not cooking, and that's that.
Next week is Assignment Two: Prioritize Your Values and Live Intentionally. (Like, I value not having to cook?)
© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"