In order to keep putting one foot in front of the other with any degree of sanity, I have to believe that there is a special place in heaven for mothers with children in the process of learning how to play the recorder.
The round-the-clock practice sessions (I heard her playing this morning in her room- AT FIVE IN THE MORNING!)
The monotonous song choices! If I have to listen to the first 5 bars of the Harry Potter Theme Song one more time, I might have to take a nice afternoon snooze in the garage. With the car on. And the garage doors closed!
The screeching. Oh.....the screeching!
I'm pretty sure that in a few years, when I have to go in for a head scan to check for the seizures I'm having every time a commercial comes on for the 10 year anniversary release of "Harry Potter", the technician will be horrified when he sees all of the scars on my brain tissue.
And when he shows me my scan and in a very concerned tone, suggests that further testing is needed, I'm gonna be all "oh THAT...no that's from back in 2011/2012 when my 9 year old was learning how to play the recorder and the screeching caused such intense brain damage that nerve centers began to shut down and die."
No, I have to believe that there is some kind of reward for this torture. And that when I die, God is going to say, "Licha, you know...you've made a lot of mistakes and you are so lucky that you're covered by grace but let me think this over for a while before I let you in to heaven. You are SO close, if only there were something to sway my decision."
That's when I'm going to say, " I did have to endure the pain and suffering of a child in the midst of learning to play the recorder!"
And that's when the pearly gates will open.