May wouldn’t have happened, I would be holding a just born baby girl in my arms right now.
My c-section was scheduled for 9:30 this morning. As of last night, it was still scheduled – the hospital called to confirm that I would be there by 7 am. Seriously.
Since we lost her, I’ve had this tendency to make the day before a big post-stillbirth milestone much more emotional than the actual day is. So what I’m saying is yesterday was a lot harder than today. I’ve anticipated today coming for a long time – since this all happened. I think all of my mental preparation was a good thing. It’s helped me to realize that getting over today – the day she was supposed to be held in our arms – is one of the biggest hurdles to us moving on.
I’m not saying that today isn’t emotional. It is. It sucks. But instead of sitting here, thinking about what we lost – which is more than you can imagine, if you’ve never been through this – I have to look at what we gained.
A new perspective on life. Clarity on what we stand for – or at least, proof that what we stand for is real. A greater appreciation for our life, our marriage and our amazing little boy....Continue reading at The Mommyhood Project