And I Thought We Were Good Recyclers

Occasionally it happens that your life spews out onto your front lawn and flows into the street in one big volcanic upchuck that gives your neighbors a little lascivious peek into your life.

Sometimes it's because your fighting spills onto the front porch. Sometimes its because you have sex and forget the blinds were open or you walk out to the garage in your underwear to get your shirt from the dryer and realize too late that the garage door was left open. And sometimes its because your trash gets sprinkled all over the neighborhood giving everyone a look at your business. When that happens it really shouldn't be because your kids got into a brawl while taking the trash out. But sometimes that's exactly why.

Chase was supposed to bring the can in from the street. Jake was supposed to empty the bathroom trash into said can. Somehow a fight ensued. Next thing I know our front lawn and the street and driveway, and a little bit of our neighbor's yard looked like it had a light sprinkling of snow.

Side note, there is at least one time during the month when you absolutely don't want your kids to have a trash fight in your front yard with your bathroom trash. Guess when my kids decided to melt down.

Yeah, some clean up there. Then I promptly went back inside, closed all the blinds and sat in a corner mordified for the next five hours sure that every living being on my block saw my bathroom trash and the contents therein and had a good laugh as I chased wads of toilet paper down the street as the wind whipped it about. Stupid wind.

I figured that would be the first and only time something like this happened. I was wrong. I'm not sure how long our trash has been bandied about the neighborhood and not sure I want to know, but it has. The next day I asked Chase to toss a poopy diaper outside in the trash while I dressed the baby. I stood up in time to see, through the window, a giant white package fly through the air and over the back fence into the neighbor's yard. Chase, who had just finished hucking the diaper turned and walked back toward the house when he saw me watching him and froze.

What do you do? Laugh? Yell? I made him go get it. Although I suspect he just went around the corner, skateboarded in circles for a minute or two and returned but I was content believing that he actually went and asked for the diaper and threw it away properly.

The only positive thing about this is now I know why our neighbors have been throwing their trash over our fence. It's been a mystery for weeks, we've found everything from cans, to popsicle sticks, to chocolate covered strawberries, tossed all over our yard. Guess now I know why.

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Tags: family, humor, kids

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