It's impossible not to bump up against these articles on helicopter parents, hovering parents, attached by the boob parents, you get the idea.  It seems to have turned into it's own cottage industry with celebrities; some write books like Mayim Bialik (I don't know who that is but she seems to get a lot of press.)  She actually said this: "You don't need a degree in neuroscience to be a good parent."  Thanks Mayim, the tuition was killing me.

 

I glanced over an interview. She (okay... her husband) home schools the kids, she (and her husband) breastfeed until oh, whenever... they all sleep together, and they don't believe in cribs. Let the children run ruin your life because this will make them feel loved and powerful. NOT. Let's all imagine overly breast fed Fred as an adult. You can't!

 

In comparison to the on-the-go Jolie-Pitts, this family does not look like they're having much fun buying solar panels.

 

 

 

I find this whole "family bed" business utterly disturbing.  Leave it to a Kardashian to accidentally knock her baby out of the bed. They've since lowered the mattress to the ground. "Its like a futon now."

 

 

 

Mayim is on some TV show, while earning a PHD in neuroscience and is doing this attached parenting thing which means you can never leave your kids; so I'm calling bull-malarky.

 

She goes to school? Works a grueling TV- show schedule? Apparently she wrote the book in her sleep. And what of all the interviews to promote this book? And she named one of her boys Fred! Like Fred Flinstone.

 

And of course Dr. Jay (no vaccines) Gordon is her pediatrician.  Go ahead, you spread those measles Jay! Bring back polio while your at it. I mean, we live in LA. How does that guy keep his license?

 

The other extreme is Angelina Jolie. I always get this sense her kids are wild animals. Having a laugh riot. Jolie takes a more laissez faire approach. Kids running in every direction of their 97 room mansion, flying kites, playing football, running bulls, shooting laser guns. Seems much more fun. Right? Of course because they are such huge celebs the kids can't just waltz into Chucky Cheese without closing the place down. So you buy a portion of France.

 

I think the Jolie-Pitts should buy a small island and let the brood run free like horses.

 

 

 

That would be a dream life for my own girls.

 

Heli-parenting is different but equally as annoying. a) Speak for your child because they're stupid. b) By all means, do their homework, so they'll get into an Ivy. c) Choose all their friends so they have no sense of autonomy.

 

Newsflash: Doing your kids homework will never get them into a good school. If you buy their way in, they will fail anyway. Side note: Because these kids come in lacking in any self sufficiently, yet are pressured to do well by their parents, more than 30% load up on the Adderal. Just letting you know.

 

 

 

There are tons of bitchfests that take place daily on the internet and of course degrees of coptering.

 

Jennifer Garner and Matt Damon popped up as soon as I googled. Like me, they fall somewhere in the middle.

 

Dads get a different handle. Like Matt Damon. He's a "protective parent" but for good reason and my sense is he's a great dad to his four girls. Same with Mark Wahlberg. I sense he's a great dad. And not just because their gorgeous, charming and talented. I can hear either one of them, "Come near my kid and you will die."

 

 

 

Their daughters are precious gems and I personally can relax knowing my own girl's dad would pull out nun chucks if needed. He also put them on dirt bikes at age two. So he has a good parenting balance. I think he already taught them how to drive a car. They're nine.

 

Then we have Jay-Z, a helicopter parent in name only because he took a helicopter to be present at Baby Bluebell's birth. Then he bought her a helicopter.

 

 

 

But in all fairness how sweet is this picture. This man loves his daughter.

 

Clearly I am against any of this hyper-parenting. I know where it comes from ("I wasn't really parented by my hippy-dippy mom and I will give Chuckles everything I never got") and also have seen where it goes ("Mom, tell me again how to work a subway because the cabs are ignoring me. I feel so rejected. Can you fly out here?")

  

I've been parenting for a while, and I suppose I'm what you call a "let them break an arm" parent. I told my daughters as much when they were age three:

 

"Girls, you need to understand I will not be a typical mother. In fact, consider me an aunt. You'll have to figure things out on your own." Guess what, they did. They're independent but also compassionate. They're fierce. They have an Etsy shop. They have a zoo in the garage. They own our village.

 

They have zero interest in my opinion, they trust their own. They wouldn't dream of me ever helping them with homework.

 

"Honey, do you need help with that math that makes zero sense to me? I can switch you back to old school in no time."

 

"For Christ sakes mom. Could you be more random?"

 

They laugh. They run circles around me. They steal my phone and make movies. They think I'm lame. And I happen to think that's healthy. But we also all adore each other, we bake, shop, go on adventurous hikes, look for wild animals in hiding, snare stray cats, dance like Jagger to Maroon Five on the Wii and get manicures.

 

Why on earth would parents NOT want their kids to learn from their mistakes, get disappointed, cry, bawl their eyes out, and learn to get over it; stumble, fall and be okay? To experience life? It's called balance and the kids will be fine. Let them get a damn C! Take the training wheels off before they are 12. 

 

In this in-between place, I never have to worry whether or not my kids are spoiled, over-pampered, lacking in confidence, or incapable of taking care of themselves. What I get in return is a life. Everybody wins.

 

It will be curious to see what happens to this next crop of extremely over- indulged kids. This is the generation following the ones already out there.

 

In my opinion one of the most loving things you can do for your children is let them grow up.

 

 

Views: 6

Tags: Angelina, Attachment, Bialik, Jolie, Mayim, go, helicopter, letting, parenting

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