The Tango is the best expression of a relationship that works beautifully as each partner accept their leader-follower roles for the sake of their sacred dance of intimate connection.
Think about this – if both partners attempt to lead there is much friction, resistance and the dance appears as a chaotic battlefield. If both want to follow the other – nothing magical happens – they just go round and round in aimless circles or they dance a separate dance – not intimately together on the dance floor of their relationship.
In the Tango a man leads – not by force, but by showing his intention of how he wants her to move with a bodily signal that she feels and responds to. He supports her, as she often needs his help to maintain her balance. He must be a pillar of strength and as stable as a rock as any unsteadiness on his part will shake her trust and confidence. He also remembers to pay attention to the music they built their relationship dance on – in order to time her steps because he dances for her, in service to their art. A gentle man lets a woman shine in their dance, with She the center of his attention, leading her in such a way that her radiant beauty is fully displayed. He is gentle with her, not rude or pushy as he carefully, tenderly and protectively leads. He makes her feel like a goddess in his embrace, which she fully enjoys.
So what does this mean for a woman who wants the passion, the joy and the sheer love of an artful intimate relationship dance? It means this.
A woman must surrender herself to her man. Letting go of her ego, melting into his embrace and moving in harmony to his lead. She gives him permission to be her leader while he dances her. She must be poised and calm, waiting for his signal to move, never interfering with his lead or initiating the next step. Following her man requires her to dynamically be in action and that takes wits and creativeness. She must make herself light on her feet and be easy and sensitive in his arms in order for him to lead. She must maintain her own balance and not attempt to cling to him for this. A good woman follows by her intuition, moving to the beat of their chosen music. She complements the dance bringing out her man’s strengths, exciting him with her passion and femininity; inspiring him with her natural beauty and lightness. She shines their dance with her gifted footwork and feminine adornments. She remains in complete unison with her man while embellishing their passionate play. By owning her feminine nature she willfully displays her female softness, flexibility and seductiveness. She truly understands that by being in her womanhood, she can bring out the best in her partner and be fully rewarded in return.
As with the Tango, in relationship both men and women must learn or unlearn patterns that do not serve a poetic artful dance, in order to create a lasting love life. It is a choice the dance that we will do in our lives but remember we are always dancing.
The feminine is naturally moved by the unseen energy around and within her – danced in her life by her heart’s yearning for what feels so very right.
For many valid reasons, women are leading in their lives from a masculine orientation, meaning women can be highly driven, push to get things done, fast-paced, great planners and highly analytical. These are all wonderful ways to be in a work environment yet they do not serve in an intimate relationship. To varying degrees we have suppressed or rejected our feminine capacity to move through life’s dance with grace and flow, of bending and swaying to one who gently guides and encourages each of us forward to our fullest, most authentic self expression.
My wish for you is that your sacred dance be filled with love and self-expression.