And if only we could have actually got in, we might have been able to set off a fire alarm or cause a bomb scare or something equally destructive in order to trump card the commotion we caused last time.

We arrived at the Children's centre. That's the good news. We looked for a space on the reopened car park, and being on the last minute (but not late - yippee!), there was one space left - one tiny narrow bay beside some 6ft wire mesh temporary fencing. I sqeeeeezed the car into the space then spent roughly three minutes sidling my giant ass out of the minuscule gap I had made between car and door, bumbling each limb, joint and boob clumsily out of the vehicle, before picking my way up the edge of the car with as much style as is possible in such a compromising situation. Tasting freedom, I grabbed the changing bag and my handbag from the boot before once again breathing in and shuffling my way back to the driver's door. Pausing at my destination while holding the two bags aloft, I stood wedged between the car and the fencing not knowing which move to make next. I opted for creeping back up the car and dumping the bags on the floor. Skirting once again back down the side of my vehicle to collect Betty, I clicked the 'LOCK' button on my keys, then set the keys down on my car roof, before osmosing myself back into the auto mobile.