When I heard that you and your gorgeous husband were expecting your first baby, I wanted to shout for joy. When I heard your sister-in-law was handling the shower, I was a little less excited. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a very nice person…I think. I’m sure asking you if you’re going to get a boob job after nursing was well-intended. I’m also pretty certain that the tantrum she threw at your husband’s birthday party was just the result of a bad day. (A lot of people assume couples with a 6 day-old infant are totally able to travel internationally for an engagement party.) However, well-meaning as she may be, I’m thinking that maybe she’s going to have you register for a bunch of
crap things you’ll never, ever use more than once. And since she’s doesn’t read my blog (I can only surmise as much, based on her laughing, “A mommy blog? You’re one of those, now? I thought you were a writer!”), I’ve decided to let loose and be brutally honest, to save you a lot of time and stress.
Things that are usually a waste of money, time, and natural resources:
1. Wipe warmers.
2. Fancy diaper bags with forty-seven different compartments: Try being stuck at the airport or grocery store with a screaming three-week old and having to search through all those cute little compartments for the pacifier. I can assure you in your sleep-deprived condition, you may turn murderous.
3. Bottle Sterilizer: Unless you live in a remote area of the South American rain forests and don’t have access to fresh water or dish soap, there is no need for these.
4. Countless newborn cutesie outfits: Your baby will grow out of these in about five minutes.