http://singlehoodtomotherhood.blogspot.comFor most of my adult life I worked in real estate. There are many perks to being self-employed; the hours, the flexibility, the independence. The downside of course is the lack of steady income. If you are not good at time management or self-motivation it can be really tough. This is why, industry wide, there are always seminars on how to manage your time effectively, how to attract and keep clients, how to stay focused and how to survive rejection. As I write this, I think maybe this is how I survived the fertility process. You get pretty thick skinned selling real estate, especially in the low interest rate pre-bubble Manhattan market of the early 2000's. The process is humbling, frustrating filled with intense highs and lows. Actually, this applies to both residential real estate and the business of making a baby.
One of the things all the real estate and motivational gurus had in common was that no matter how successful you are, focusing on the basics is what keeps your business going, the ABC's or Course 101, if you will. They all said that if you kept doing the basics consistently you would achieve your goals. They were right.
Recently, I have been speaking to several women who are just beginning their journey to motherhood. They spoke of their very real fears and concerns. What struck me is that they all spoke of what to do if the baby is sick and they have no one to watch him, of not being able to go out at night, of the lack of sleep etc. I too, was anxious about these things. But the more I listened the more I realized they are getting ahead of themselves. They need to go back to basics, back to "A".
So much will happen before the baby is born. So much will happen before you are even pregnant. Not only are you going through the physical process of getting pregnant, but you are gradually becoming a person who will be a mom. You are focusing on another person who isn’t even a person yet. You are laying the foundation for motherhood. Like in real estate; it's pointless to worry about what property values will be in five or ten years if you are planning to buy now. First you need to be approved for a mortgage, and then look at properties, negotiate the sale of the home you love… you get the picture.
The process, for most of us is long. What helped me was to think of that wise Alcoholics Anonymous slogan, "one day at a time" (It seems I'm big on mantras). It is important to think of all the "what ifs and how will I manage" but then focus on the task at hand and take baby steps.