Once I stepped into the world of motherhood, my life's point of view changed and so it was with my work. For years, I'm a dedicated employee who put work as one my top priorities in life. I'm not a workaholic but I work hard and do well.
After Mik was born in Feb my time to adjust to a role of new mom was tough. Then, in a sleep-deprived blink, trying to get used to each other and postpartum depression...everything was an alarming push to reality. I found that I am a better mom on days that I get a little bit of a break.
Ten months after being a full-time mommy, I figured I had to roll back to work to help husband Mike make some extra profit. Now all I could think about was my son. As any working mom feels, I was battling the big guilt that creeps on me everytime I have to be apart from him for more than a few hours. Never mind that he's home with her daddy who works out at night and could look after our son on daytime while I was out of home. Knowing he's in good hands only keeps me half-sane. I still feel an urge to be our son's primary caregiver.
It's been over four months now since I returned to work. Every morning, I have to tear myself away from his sweet face to leave for the day. Throughout the day, I have to call or text my husband to check on Mik. Focusing on work as much as I can. And every evening after long day at work, I'm on a mission to get home. Then it's time to switch from professional-woman mode to devoted-mother/wife mode.