Today I had one of those ephiphany-creating moments that cause you to shed your clothes, don robes and call yourself Yusuf. I can't even tell you about it until the sedatives kick in.

OK here goes. I went running today and about five minutes into the trail I started to wonder at how many bugs were flying around. They started to get thick and I was having to swat them out of my face. Then I stopped running and asked myself tentatively, not wanting myself to answer: "What ... kind ... of ... bugs ... are ... these?"

BEES. I RAN INTO A SWARM OF BEES. Let me repeat that, SWARM OF BEES. A SWARM. As in thousands of them and I was right in the middle. I started swatting at them to get out of my face. And I think they were laughing at me. The only evidence I have of this is that if I were a bee and some crazy jogger ran into the middle of my posse and started waving madly like she was having an epileptic seizure I'd be laughing so hard I'd pee my little bee panties.

And here is the odd thing. I just stood there swatting at them. I don't know why. I think they were hypnotizing me with the vibrations caused by the flapping of their wings. Finally, my Brain yelled at me, "Run stupid!" Not kidding. My Brain actually had to tell me to do this in order for my body to turn and get out of there.

Amazingly I didn't get stung once. When I was safely out of the swarm I turned around to get a better look. It was a heavy veil of bees and I don't understand how I just ran into that. I am still shaking from the whole incident.

The epiphany was this. I may not be cut out for a triathlon afterall. This trail is the same course as this month's tri. Will I have to run through that? I don't think I can. What about the other triathlons I was considering? Like the Wildflower triathlon. Everyone said it's a killer. That people drop left and right during that tri. Hello, Wildflower, bees, make sense? Maybe it's not the tri that does it, maybe it's a bee ambush causing people to drop.

I am thinking that triathlons are outside, which means bees, and I am not up for that and that is as good an excuse as any not to do this tri.

Unless tomorrow I wake up and I'm brave again.

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Tags: exercise, family, humor

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