So now I’m seeing a therapist who sits in her chair and listens to me for an hour. Last week during my second therapy session, I asked the question… “Why do I need behavior therapy?” Therapist’s response, “Because we need to focus on your behavior. Not the thoughts or feelings that cause the behavior”.
Boy, did that make any sense to you? Surely makes no sense to me. Why not first study my thoughts and feelings, because obviously it’s these thoughts and feelings that are causing me to be a hovering, overbearing and overprotective Mommy. It’s these thoughts and feelings that make me worry about my son every waking moment.
I sit there and spill my guts out to this woman. Pay her an exorbitant fee, and then leave her office wondering what the heck just happened? How many more sessions before we get to the root of this “Helicopter Mom” thing?
I started thinking maybe I am so overprotective because my father died when I was just thirteen. I grew up without a father and a mother who worked night and day to provide for myself and my siblings. Or maybe it’s because my mother remarried, had more children and my siblings and I don’t all have the same father? I’m not sure, but I hope we can get to the root of it all very soon. This stuff costs way too much money. But, it was something I had to do, because I have to find a way to function when my son leaves for college next year. Trying to keep him home with me or following him off to New York – will only hinder his growth and I don’t want to do that – but sometimes my propeller switch stays in the ON position.