This year I turned 30. Yes the big 3-0. This was hard for me to handle. I didn't want to be out of my 20s, 30 was OLD. Suddenly it seemed that everyone around me could hear my biological clock ticking away. Did it go on speaker when I turned 30? Did it speed up without me paying attention? How come I couldn't hear it? People have been asking me over the last several months on a regular basis when I am going to have kids. Don't I want a child of my own? By people I mean EVERYONE. Family, friends, vendors at work (I don't know you...don't ask me about my reproduction plans, it's weird), the kids, everyone. First off, I consider my stepchildren to be my children. I have been helping to raise them for the last 10 years. But, yes I want a child of "my own." I never was very good at sharing, even as a child. Ask my siblings I am sure they would be happy to tell you. Secondly, I have 2 teenagers at home. Two...more than one...two. Don't you people understand what that is like? Having 2 teenagers with their mood swings, hormones and drama living in your house? Everyday there is some kind of new drama with their friends, their mother, with one of us, with their siblings, with school...you name it there is drama going on about it. When I get home from work at night I never know what is going to await me. Will there be two nice, polite children there? Or will I come home to tears, screaming and attitude? There is never an in between, there is only one extreme or the other. They seem to take turns too with the acting out. If one is being good that means when we see or hear from the other one they are going to be in some kind of trouble or about to get in trouble for mouthing off to one of us. Do they plan this? Are there secret meetings while we are sleeping to determine who's turn it is to be rebelling the next day? I am getting side tracked though...I was talking about having a baby wasn't I? Honestly, I don't know if I could handle putting a baby into the mix right now. That doesn't mean that we don't want one. We do. My husband and I have discussed this in-depth and would like to have a child together, one that we don't have to share with another household. But we are not in a hurry for it to happen. We have time. Despite what everyone else in my life (including myself at times) seems to think 30 is not that old. My eggs have not dried up and disappeared over the last few months. So please if you see me out and about, don't remind me that I am now 30 (like I could forget) and don't ask me when I plan on reproducing. Chances are I am not going to be nice about it for too much longer. You may be catching me on a bad day where asking would be a BAD idea.
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