Pregnancy_Beauty

Unlimited Photo Storage

Pregnancy_Beauty

OUR BLOG

How Do I Choose the Best Professional Cleaning Service

Keeping your home clean can be an exhausting task, especially if you have to squeeze it in between the chaos and work and keeping your family in line. And if your life feels like it’s nothing but cleaning and tedious chores, perhaps it’s…

How to Keep Your Pool Clean Without Using Chemicals

The weather is getting hotter and hotter, and if you haven’t done it already, you are probably getting ready to open your pool and start the swimming season. Having a pool in your backyard is wonderful, but it requires quite some effort before you…

8 Ways to Make Food Shopping as a Parent More Bearable

No one is denying children aren’t the gift that keep on giving. But, as a parent, there are just some tasks in day to day adult life that shouldn’t be accompanied by kids. Namely the weekly food shop. Opening yourself up to a world of whining, potential tantrums and…

When I think of women and our relationship with each other it seems to be love/hate. In our competitive society it seems that woman longs for that friendship and understanding that only another woman can offer. Yet we give in to judgment of that same kin. This kind of relationship spreads beyond being a woman and translates into all female roles, including and especially motherhood. It seems that truly excepting another woman’s choices, though not in agreement with your own, and without judgment, is something beyond our grasp. Parental decisions seem able to awaken a vicious side in our maternal world that is unfair and anti-woman is essence. One such feud that I have been guilty of falling in to is the great breastfeeding debate.

Being a Breastfeeding advocate I have found myself uttering words of slander against my fellow Mothers. I thought that the majority of woman who chose formula, save a few with medical obstacles to blame, were simply selfish or lacked confidence or the maternal instinct to stick to it. This criticism extended past the mothers who just wouldn’t give it a chance and targeted mothers who didn't succeed (long term) as well.  Even as I type these words I am ashamed at my own unkindness and lack of acceptance.
 It was my goal myself to breast feed my daughter for a least a year or up to two years of age, unless she self-weaned. Getting pregnant while she was fifteen months (Piper, being still very much attached to nursing), I decided that I would tandem nurse my toddler and infant. Three months into the pregnancy I had a huge change of heart. Whether due to hormonal fluctuations or a shift in maternal instincts for my unborn baby’s health, I developed a toxic relationship with breastfeeding.  I wanted, mentally and a little emotionally, to keep the relationship that was so loved by my toddler, but every nursing session made me physically revolted. It felt unnatural and I didn’t want her touching me. It hurt me so much to have these feelings towards my child, and with something I felt so good about before. I decided that if I wanted to save the relationship with my daughter and spare her the resentment I felt during nursing than I had to wean.
It was a heartbreaking two weeks for both of us as I thrust her into a world of independence from my familiar bosom.  As I thought about how strong and unexpected the toxic reaction had imposed itself on us, I had a revelation. In my arrogant mind frame I had wrongly judged so many women for not choosing breastfeeding over formula, but what would I have done if these feeling were present at an earlier age? What if I felt this way at 9 months or 6, or from the start?
I realized that there are many reasons within the mother’s mind and body that could cause an unhealthy nursing relationship. Maybe the mother has had a history of abuse, or the constant needs are causing resentment  in an overwhelmed mother, Perhaps even the busy lifestyle of a mom who has to work would be too stressful if adding pumping to the equation. There are endless situations that could cause a woman to be unhappy, overwhelmed or otherwise resentful towards this maternal task. Who am I for judging which scenarios are “valid” or not!?
So kudos to the women who are able to move beyond the social stigma and do what she knows is best for her and her child, despite what the world may say.  Because when we get down to it breast is biologically best, but our relationship is priority. 

Views: 15

Comment

You need to be a member of Mom Bloggers Club to add comments!

Join Mom Bloggers Club

© 2018   Created by Mom Bloggers Club.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service