Frustrated, stressed, overloaded, anxious…do any of these describe how you feel? Parenting methods and strategies have become popular hot topics these days. There are so many “experts” and equally as many theories. So how is a parent supposed to know what to do?
Our parent’s generation, for the most part, didn’t really pay a whole lot of attention to theories on parenting. They just raised their kids, day by day, doing what felt right at the time and in the moment…assuming all would be well.
To our credit, our generation has realized that we need to be more assertive and diligent when it comes to choosing how we parent our children. And so the intention to raise our children with an awakened and aware mindset is there…but then what.
Where do you go, what do you do, what’s the “right” thing to do?
In your quest to educate yourself in order to be a good parent, you read and subscribe to all the latest publications and anxiously apply the new skills and tools you have acquired. Only to find that your newly gained insights work amazingly well for one child but doesn’t have any impact on the other…
Feeling frustrated and stressed you are confused…”Maybe this wasn’t the “right” approach…maybe I missed something.” Your love for your children keeps you motivated to continue searching for what will work.
My best advice when coaching a parent is to tell them to first, breathe and second to relax…The best thing any parent can do for their children is to take care of themselves first! Loving yourself and giving yourself the gift of allowing for your own imperfections in itself a critical message to model to your children.
Only when you are at your best and in a positive frame of mind can you provide your children with clear and unconditional love.
The next thing is to understand that when dealing with human beings there are an enormous amount of variables. This is especially important when it involves raising children. Children are not “one size fits all” and as parents we need to be willing to relate to each child in a way that reaches and impacts them individually.
There will be times when you will need to make adjustments in your approach. What will work for one may in fact not be right for another and that is okay. It doesn’t negate the value of the approach and it doesn’t reflect on your ability to be a good parent.
The other huge difference in this generation of parents verses our parent’s generation is that because of our heightened awareness of our impact in our children’s lives, millions of parents seek help in the form of a parent coach. Many parents are realizing that accepting the status quo of the “passed down parenting” approach we inherited from our parents is no longer a viable option…but again we are not sure where to go or what to do.
The crucial factor that needs to be recognized when feeling overwhelmed or frustrated is that whether you are looking for answers in books or programs or searching for someone to help you and guide you to do the best you can for your children’s well-being is to remember that YOU know your children better than anyone.
Whether you are researching a new method of parenting or enlisting the help of a parent coach, choose:
Not every piece of parenting advice will work for every child or in every situation. Not every parent coach will compliment your personality or fulfill your needs. (Not even me! Ha!)
I believe we all have within us the instincts to be amazing parents…to choose what is best for us and our children…we simply need to awaken those instincts and trust them!