Betty's big day Sunday. She'll look gorgeous, obviously. When doesn't she? More importantly, I've got to look gorgeous. Seriously, this is my most iconic postnatal moment thus far. In fact, this will be THE postnatal moment people will remember of me forever. (What do you mean no one gives a toss?)
It's not like she's only a few weeks old and I've had no time to prepare. I've had SEVEN WHOLE MONTHS to sort it. Seven whole months to attack the rolls and the wobbles and the grotesque dimpling. Seven whole months to stop the cake and the crisps and the packets of beef dripping. And now, like all the holidays and weddings and special occasions for which I have promised my body so much and delivered so very little, it IS HERE. So come on - I need ideas people. How do I lose a stone in a week?