Every morning there’s a constant struggle in my household. My daughter is 9, going on 16, and thinks that she can dress like it. Thanks to society telling her via TV shows, music, movies, and “cool” clothing lines that it’s okay, she doesn’t quite understand why her mother is so opposed to it.
“But Mom, I want skinny jeans. Everyone at school wears skinny jeans, why can’t I?”
Because not everyone has a mom with PMS (Paranoid Mom Syndrome
) like I do. No 9 year old of mine is going to be wearing skinny jeans, and if, by some miracle I do buy skinny jeans for her, it’s because they are a size too big and not that tight on her.
So, how did the latest battle go down? I had to employ the big weaponry- her teacher at school. Let me explain…
I took my daughter clothes shopping this past weekend. Thank goodness she is in between sizes right now, especially with skinny jeans because they run smaller, so after trying on pair after pair, size after size, of skinny jeans, she finally accepted the fact that none fit her right. So, we bought some regular boot cut jeans, that yes, she tried on, and then some khaki cargo pants that were the same size as the jeans, so no need for another trip to the dressing room. She was happy, I was happy, all was well.
Until she went to wear the khaki cargo pants to school. She tried them on, and much to her dismay, the cargo pants were slightly baggy- as cargo pants are supposed to be. She comes out of her room and tells me- very matter of factly- that she’s not wearing them. When I explained to her that they fit her perfectly, and that’s how cargo pants fit- a little on the baggy side- she, in a raised voice, said, ‘Well, you should have explained that to me and then I wouldn’t have gotten them.’
Oh hell no, she did not just raise her voice at me.
So, I went into the whole speech about how those cargo pants cost more than the cargo pants I bought for myself did that day, and they fit her perfectly, so I didn’t care what she said, she was wearing them. She finally looked like a 9 year old, not a 15 year old, and I was happy.
She was not.
From that moment on, she refused to talk to anyone for the rest of the morning, and would randomly burst into tears and mumble about how she hated what she was wearing and everyone at school was going to make fun of her.
My next round of ammunition came in the form of getting my sister out of bed, explaining things to her, and having her go tell my daughter that her outfit looked nice.
It didn’t go over as I had planned. My daughter just argued with my sister, and continued to pout.
So, out came the big guns. I grabbed my phone, searched for her teacher’s email address, and pleaded my case. I explained to her teacher that the clothing issue is a constant struggle in my house because of what society has shown my daughter to be ‘acceptable’ for a 9 year old to wear (which, is NOT acceptable to me), and how I was making her wear the khaki cargo pants to school today, despite her temper tantrum, so, if she could do me a favor of complementing my daughter on her outfit, I’d be eternally grateful.
A few hours later I got a reply back. Her teacher thanked me for letting her know, and said that when my daughter came into class, she made a huge deal about how great her outfit was. She said she saw my daughter relax some, smile, and things seemed to be better.
Thank the heavens above for my daughter’s teacher. You never know, in this day and age, who is going to help you out with what issue anymore. Some people are so scared to get involved in other’s lives, even if asked, that it comforts me to know that not only did her teacher understand the situation, but felt strongly enough about it to actually help me out.
And my daughter is none the wiser, which makes this an even sweeter victory.
Score 1 for my daughter’s awesome teacher, and score another 1 for my amazing Mom skills. I know it seems a little vain to score myself some points, but in this constant battle over keeping my 9 year old daughter looking like a 9 year old, I need all the help I can get.