Okay, so last week my sixth child was successfully potty trained, right before he turned 3. The big deal? This was the 3rd attempt at it, my attempt; you see it's not that Adam failed the previous times, I his mother who trained 5 before him and had 3 trained by 2, was too tired to stick with the process. He's not the first child to be a delayed potty trainer, his 2 older sisters( my younger girls) were completely toilet trained at 3 going on 4, shocker I know. I came to the conclusion that my age won't allow me patience that I had with my 3 older ones , that we are always on the go and we all know that to succeed at it, baby needs to be in the home to comprehend the process and do it regularly.
I would like to think that Adam is a potty perfecto and that I am a super Mom to have a child trained in 2 days but I lean more to his age as the reason. I think back to the day sof parks, family outings and all the mommy time the first 3 had, oh the energy! Where did it go and when did I start taking short cuts in parenting? Does my age cause this, laziness or the simple fact that I have already been through it before and thes short cuts are my way of waving off the hard way? Maybe I am lazy but I desreve it! To have a house w teens, tots and 1 adult , I have the right to cheat now and again.
I don't make too many big meals anymore, when you see your food left on the floors,given to the dogs and in the trash, you get that why bother feeling, so what if my kids eat spaghetti o's or noodles and tuna for lunch/dinner, hey they eat it! After a day of chasing 1, home schooling 2 and sorting out who did what, a 4 course meal is not on my agenda. With school, extra activities and house work, how does any mom perform a chef's feat ? Age is a number some say and that you are as old as you feel, well I feel my age and then some. I don't know anyone who is willing to admit they cut corners at home, but yet I can not imagine a day at work, school and chores plus what ever sports the kids play; that anyone can pull a Julia Childs, well maybe if she budgets her time, me I got off my schedule a long time ago.
Too many nights of 7 and 8 o clock meals de railed me, I was too anxious keeping a smooth house and it destroyed me and my timely schedule. Now if kids have eaten by 630, I'm good, in bed by 9, even better. Just because we are related, live under the same roof does not mean we all are in tune with eachother; meaning I have 8 different personalties clashing every single day and 7 people all wanting thier way or the high way, don't give in you say, put your foot down too? The last time I put my foot down, 1 tried to run away, 1 threw a book at me and 4 tried to over throw the power. Rule in secrecy I say, they didn't win but they don't know why or how I did it , play dumb. I blame the older ones for my lack of energy and short cutting ways, they ran me ragged, sports, field trips, projects and whatever else they signed me up for during their school years.
They took my energy,leaving nothing for thier poor siblings, nothing but a Mom who by lunch is ready for a nap, no not me, no sleeping on the job. In 2003 when baby madness bit me, my older kids were 9,12 and 15. I thought nothing of the age gap or my age and not even the fact that my older ones would get older and my job would get harder since I now had a baby and 3 teenagagers. There is conflict with the kids and their age differences, I have been trying for 7 years to blend this family and still they are border line hateful step siblings, which they are not. Imagine helping a child with a tooth loss and a teen demanding money and freedom from his private jail or nursing your child and a girl screaming at the top of her lungs because her 4 yo sister wants to use her markers, well you would be crazy too! Hamburger helper, sloppy joes and chef boyardee may not be your cup of tea but for what I go through, mommy deserves to cheat once in awhile.
I may not be the typical soccer mom or any mom for that matter but I am a mom just the same. Kids are clean, get thier vegatables and brush thier teeth every day so I do get it done. Cutting corners sometimes saves us from losing it, think of the mom who travels to 2 or 3 sports activity, rushes home to have dinner before bed time, baths and chores; she's had enough, Burger King it is! Who will admit that it gets out of hand trying to do it all,we snap. What's the harm in doing fast food ? Lots of places offer healthy choices and besides who cares? My son played tball and the 2 nites a week he played, we did mcDonalds, I was in no mood to sit in the heat for 2 hours, get
home at 7 and try to have a decent meal before 9 o clock bed time or let them stay up later on a school night.
The other 5 days were healthy meals and doing fast food allowed me to finish chores, home work and get kids to bed on time. I gave up on sports, decided to home school; some might say to make my life easier and am cheating my kids out of life, wrong. Home school takes alot of effort and patience especially for two kids with ADHD and a run amok 3 yo. As for activities, we have a huge yard, parks and libraries, so what if I am forgoing the tradition of sports/ballet or whatever, again; mommy has been there done that. Am I cheating my 3 little one's ? No, they can't miss what they never knew of or had and besides, they have plenty of time for sports and life.
They can be mild tempered kids or wild beasts but they are my kids and 1 thing that I do not short cut is my love for them or the passion for life and all the adventures it has to offer.
Do you have age variety in your life? Are you tired and done from your kids, age or are you a zest in life, a do it all mom who shames us all? Does having more kids later in life costs more energy or is it laziness that makes us cut corners? I have always wondered if a mom w just teens/tots is as tired as I am, or how a new mom at my age handles the stress of parenting or all we all just fooling one another by putting on a brave face? I don't care what anyone says, we all cheat sometimes. Examples/ using a baby wipe for a wash down, dusting or to get food out of a baby's hair because baby just got a bath and my favorite, wiping down the hard wood floors, I'm a cheater and am proud to say it!