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How Do I Choose the Best Professional Cleaning Service

Keeping your home clean can be an exhausting task, especially if you have to squeeze it in between the chaos and work and keeping your family in line. And if your life feels like it’s nothing but cleaning and tedious chores, perhaps it’s…

How to Keep Your Pool Clean Without Using Chemicals

The weather is getting hotter and hotter, and if you haven’t done it already, you are probably getting ready to open your pool and start the swimming season. Having a pool in your backyard is wonderful, but it requires quite some effort before you…

8 Ways to Make Food Shopping as a Parent More Bearable

No one is denying children aren’t the gift that keep on giving. But, as a parent, there are just some tasks in day to day adult life that shouldn’t be accompanied by kids. Namely the weekly food shop. Opening yourself up to a world of whining, potential tantrums and…

Conversations With My Husband: Weekend Edition



October 2009 by PB Rippey.


Weekend Edition
(when a week’s worth of domestic business is conducted in 48 hours and no one knows what anyone is doing because it’s just not possible and besides the toddler has broken into and is ransacking the bottom kitchen cupboard and who can remember what dangerous implements might have been tossed in there the last time anyone put anything away—whenever that was?)

Have to deposit those checks…

Oh. I thought I was going to deposit them?

Deposit what.

The. Checks.

You are.

But I thought you just said you were going to.

I said I have to return the library books that are in my car.

So—you’re not going to the bank machine?

I’m taking T to the library, I just said.

But—so I’m going to the bank machine.

I thought you were making dinner.

I am!

Right!

So—

What???

Look—where are you going right this second? I thought you were taking T to the bank machine.

I’m going to my car to get the library books and the stroller.

And then you’re—strolling him to the bank machine?

No! Then I’m driving him to the library in the minivan!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

Shhh!!! You’ll scare the baby!!! There he is—he’s concerned!

I’m not screaming, T! Mama’s laughing. Ahhhhhhhhh–ha ha. Because Dadda’s so, so funny!!! Oh, there’s the egg whisk. I thought I’d thrown it out by mistake. Aren’t you a clever sweet potato, finding it. Come here and give mama a kiss! Hm? Aww. Did you just say sheep?

He said hypoteneuse. Okay, are we clear now, babe?

Sure. Clear. Absolutely.

Where am I going?

I have no effing clue.

(sigh) Why don’t you take a nap while we’re gone.

A nap—did you just say I should—listen, I am going to bake potatoes, puree cauliflower, vacuum the living room and mop the floors while you’re going—wherever it is you’re going!

Babe, take it easy. You need to lie down. You need a break, okay? I’m trying to give you a break, here!

(whispered through large, frozen smile) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

(sigh #2) Love you, babe.

(hoarsely) Yah, yah. Blrrrrrg.

http://pbrippeyblogma.com

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