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Dave's first Father's Day.

What with The Poop being too lazy to get down to the shops herself, her having been refused a credit card and her not being able to see over the counter at Clintons, the responsibility for making sure her Dad gets some nice pressies falls to muggins. So what do we get him?

Now, there are various factors to consider before you all rush at once with your advice.

1) I am still on maternity pay

2) I am still on maternity pay

3) I am still on maternity pay

4) He will want something he can keep

5) I am still on maternity pay

So, weighing up the constraints, I'm thinking cheap. Very cheap. Free even. But also cute. Ah ha! HOMEMADE. What though?

A meal is out of the question - Boo hasn't tackled the kitchen since that time she flambéed her eyebrows off, and making him chew through something I've botched together could not really be categorised a treat, unless you're big pals with salmonella.

An item of clothing will not be possible - I don't own a sowing machine, and Boo is a slave to her deep rooted aversion to undermining import textiles industry.

A picture will be a no no - Boo's sketching still lacks a real awareness of true life proportion, and my penchant for second phase Cubist multi-media collage cannot be facilitated at such short notice. Shame.

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