Devilish Comebacks for Bullies

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Scene: Two nine-year-old girls waiting for the school musical to start. My daughter's dress is bright red and full of sparkles.

Bully:  You look like a devil in your dress!

My daughter:  Well, you are the devil!

That girl never ceases to amaze me with her snappy comebacks (and she uses them at home too, believe me!) I can put together a clever comeback too--but only nine hours later. I've decided to put together a list for those of you as challenged in the comeback department as I am. Some of these are for kids but others anyone can use. Here goes:

1. Go away. I don't have time to ignore you now.
2. And I thought you were a nice person.
3. Okay, you're better than me. Let's move on.
4. Build your self-esteem another way.
5. My little brother can diss me a lot better than you can.
6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. I can't hear a word you're saying. It sounds like English, but I'm not sure.
8. Yes I am an agent of Satan. But my duties are largely ceremonial.
9. Do I look like a people person?
10. I bet you were up all night working on that one.
11. I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person.
12. I've been called worse from better.
13. Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself?
14. Pardon me, but you seem to think that I care.
15. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
16. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
17. Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives at the mall. Get one.
18. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
19. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
20. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Keep kicking those bullies!



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Tags: Bullies, comebacks, gossip, office, school, workplace

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