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Symptoms to Take Notice of in Children

The NHS has been facing ever-increasing pressures in recent years, with slashed budgets, staff shortages and lack of resources taking its toll on the quality of care. One of the many ways we commonly see the impact of these pressures is in waiting times for GP…

Mother of the Bride Guide

The day you’ve dreamed of for years has finally arrived! Your little girl is all grown up and has chosen a partner to start her life with, and you are officially a MoB -- Mother of the Bride! While congratulatory remarks are appropriate at this juncture, so are a few…

How to Through A Larger Than Life Small Wedding on a Budget

This one is as simple as crowdfunding your honeymoon. It might sound strange at first, but do you really need another blender or set of dinner plates? Instead of having your guests purchase a bunch of things you’ll end up trying to return anyway, why not let them chip in for…

Do I Have What it Takes to Be a Stay at Home Mom?

For a multitude of reasons, my husband and I have decided it might be best if I become a stay-at-home mom.
And for a multitude of reasons, I am excited, nervous, and eager about the possibility of beginning this very new, very important chapter of my life.
I’m kind of panicking, to be honest. I mean, I want very badly to be THE BEST SAHM the world has ever known. Yes, I know it’s an impossibility, and that putting that kind of pressure on myself is ridiculous. But really, truly, I want to do a DAMN good job as a full-time mommy. In preparation for the transition, I’ve created schedules, ordered educational toys and materials, joined a handful of mommy groups, and mapped out lots of different local attractions and activities I can use for our daily outings. I’m taking this whole thing very seriously. Maybe a bit TOO seriously.
To lighten the mood in my brain, I’ve been fantasizing about what it would be like if I actually had to have a job interview with my kiddos. Granted, my son is only six months old, and my daughter is only two and a half, so some of the imagined conversation is a bit contrived, but it makes me laugh, and that’s really all that matters.
Allow me to share.
Scene: A fluorescent-lit meeting room with one of those very long, very intimidating meeting room tables. My daughter is sitting at the far end, in a booster seat that makes her head just peek out over the top of the table. To her immediate right, my son is sitting in a noisy swing, swinging back and forth, teething on his favorite chew toy.
Emmy: Good morning, mama. So you’ve come to interview for the position of Stay at Home Mom?
Me: Yes, good morning. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I really appreciate the opportunity.
Emmy: Of course. It’s our pleasure. Have a seat.
(Emmy points to the seat at the far opposite end of the table. I take a seat)
Emmy: We’ve looked at your resume. We haven’t read it, because we can’t read, but we’ve looked at it. Tell me, why have you decided to apply for this position?
Me: Well, in a nut shell, I’ve decided that being a good mommy to you and Baby O is my number one priority right now, and other things can wait. I want to provide both of you with a loving, consistent environment that fosters your growth and development.
Emmy: That’s all well and good, mama, theoretically speaking. But let’s talk about your qualifications. Are you familiar with “Ring Around the Rosie?”
Me: Of course, yes. I’m very familiar with “Ring Around the Rosie.”
Emmy: How many times IN A ROW would you say you’d be willing to play “Ring Around the Rosie”?
Me: Um, off the top of my head? Maybe FOUR times?
(Baby O stops teething and looks at me with horror)
Emmy: FOUR times? Just FOUR times?
Me: Ok, maybe FIVE times?
Emmy: That will NEVER do. We’re going to need you to play “Ring Around the Rosie” at least eighteen times in a row, mama. With enthusiasm. No excuses. Do you think you can do that?
Me: (with some very acute hesitation) Sure. Yeah. I can do that. Eighteen times, huh?...

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