Yesterday I slathered on sunless tanner (ahem, review purposes). I even dressed up a bit. OK, so I basically picked out a button-down shirt and ironed it, but I totally did my hair and make-up and wore cute shoes. Even accessories. For just me. It's like I'm back despite my three inch roots. I'm trying to hold on to who I was before I got pregnant this third time, because I swear this third pregnancy really wants to see me in sweats, worn out yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt on a daily basis. It really likes it when I use Pssst on my hair versus real, lathering shampoo. In fact, all week I've been making the extra effort so that my outsides don't reflect how tired and bedraggled I feel on the inside.
When I read the Sacramento Bee's article, "Regular Moms Under Pressure to be Hot Too
". I got annoyed. Sure, I understand where all of it is coming from- the media, Hollywood, whatever. Except I don't feel external pressure to be "hot". I want to keep myself looking young, healthy and fit in mind and body simply for myself, my husband and my kids. I don't want to look back years from now and be able to pinpoint the time when I just let it all go, got out of shape and stopped taking care of myself. I feel my mind would turn to rot at that point too. President Who? You get the idea. This doesn't come from the media or Hollywood. It comes from self-preservation and a need to stay sane. Exercising and taking the time to take care of myself does all that. I'm like the Army. I want to be all I can be. It is within my modest means to keep up with trends to a degree and update my wardrobe. My husband does this for work so why shouldn't I? Even if my only job was caring for the kids I still can't imagine just not caring. UNLESS. Unless I didn't care about any of this stuff even before I had kids.
This idea that the media, Hollywood and more is pressuring us Moms to look sexy, be MILF's (gross) and be hot is for the insecure. The people who buy into this are not doing it for healthy reasons but because they are lacking in other areas of their life. If they can't open a magazine without feeling the need to look like a Kardashian then there is something incredibly wrong and it isn't the media that is at fault. They need to look within themselves.
Thankfully, there are women out there who have the confidence to write books like The Mominatrix
who share the healthy ideas about the importance of creating and maintaining a good body image and self-confidence. That doesn't happen because you have a full time nanny, chef, stylist, unlimited bank account and personal trainer. It happens because you want it, need it and decide to be yourself and own it as part of a whole that makes up you. What the magazines say is only what is trendy. The onus, the pressure applied comes from within ourselves. We are the ones who make it healthy or unhealthy.
No more excuses. No more blaming others.