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Don't know what to do "/

So im a 24 yr old SAHM with a beautiful 2 month and a half old boy Jayden. My fiancee is the one who brings home the bacon. But for some reason im just not that happy and i feel so guilty to say it. Since i was little girl i always said " Im' going to have a family young" and i did, but im just short of going insane. Im home all day because my fiancee uses my car to go to work and his car has no A/C and i won't dare put Jayden inside that car with this Miami heat. They days my fiancee is off he spends most of his day working out and training. He's a swimmer. By the time he's home he exhausted, he eats, takes a shower, watch a little t.v. with me and goes to bed, to wake up and start a new work week, leaving me at home alone with the baby for another 4-5 days straight. Do you see where im going here? I feel like im in prison. I try walking around my neighborhood with baby to get fresh air but it's not the same.

I think what im feeling his that i have lost by freedom. I lost who i am. I have become the girl who has her pajamas on till noon, her hair uncombed and grumpy all the time. I was the complete opposite. I have been trying this work from home business, but i didn't think it was going to be so hard. You really have to give it your all, which i can't because i have to give all my attention to my son. So then i considered going back to work, because we can sure use the extra income, but then that mean i will have to put my son in daycare. Which is last thing i want, him getting detached from me.

So im stuck, stuck in so many levels and i don't know how i can get out. All i know is i love being a mom to Jayden and a wife to Jorge, but i need to love myself as well and i'm just not right now!

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Comment by Galit Lazar on September 16, 2009 at 9:59pm: Think about what is your passion. If you have many make a list of them and than look at them again after a while. When you follow a passion, you will feel much more fulfilled because you will enjoy what you are doing. Take one step at a time and work as much as you are able. Your son and family are very important, but don't ever forget your well being, because you have to put yourself first and take care of yourself before you can take care of others. I wish you all the best. Remeber, you have the power to change this situation and do give yourself the gift of happiness, you deserve it.

Galit.
www.galitscampcoaching.com

Comment by Galit Lazar on September 16, 2009 at 9:44pm: I completely understand how you feel. I have been there not long ago. I managed to take myself out of this situation. You can do it, look deep within yourself. Go to my blog and you will find lot's of effective tips. My blog is under the title: life lessons.

Galit.
Confidence and Prosperity Coach.
www.galitscampcoaching.com

Comment by Angelita Laxamana on September 16, 2009 at 8:35pm: Jacqueline, I really can feel what you are going trough right now. We can never tell about what will happen. You have to focus on your Jayden, but there something in you that want to get out. How can we give love if you don't have it. Love yourself first and you will learn to love what you are doing, you're a great mom Jacqueline, you sacrifice you're whole life for your family, but it doesn't mean that you sacrifice your happiness, I think, time will come, with God's help, with prayers, you will be used to it and be happy. I pray for your happiness. -Angelita http://www.thumbuddyspecial.com

Comment by Jacqueline Williams on September 16, 2009 at 8:44am: Hey thanks for the advice everyone!

Comment by Dominique on September 16, 2009 at 1:29am: I completely understand. Being a SAHM can definitely be overwhelming. But I think posting this blog was great start! For me finding MomsLikeMe.com was a life saver. And then from there I found a whole bunch of social networking site like this one, BlogHer, and I even created my own for writing mothers (mommw-writer.webs.com). Talking to other moms is key to staying sane, at least in my experience - even if it's just online.
In addition to chatting it up online maybe there'sa playgroup in your area? You can check Yahoo Groups and MeetUp.com.
Finally the work thing - working from home can definitely be a strain. But you don't have to start out going 100mph, you know what I mean? Maybe start small, or find a partner. The last part can be kinda touch (since that's the phase I have been stuck in for months, LOL). And if you have a blog that can be a ggod place to devote your engergies if you don't want to start an actual home business.
I hope some of this helped!!

Comment by Ivette Muller on September 15, 2009 at 6:53pm: Oh my - we can all relate! There are so many feelings we have about being a SAHM and trying to make a go of things working from home. It is difficult - more difficult than I certainly imagined. I love my life and staying home with my girls, but there are days that it is very challenging. I was doing odd jobs here and there for awhile, until I found a great group of people with virtual assistants. While I don't get out of the house for work, I can do my job any time, and I get to meet great people online through Twitter, Facebook, etc. And, I'm finally getting a little job satisfaction too.

I'm like Jessica, I don't want to add spam, but if you have any interest in this, sent me a note and I can get you some information. There just happens to be a free webinar tomorrow that I can get you the details. Let me know. In the meantime, keep you head up - things will get better. You just need to find your groove! :)

Comment by Jessica @ Mom Fuse on September 15, 2009 at 2:55pm: Oh Jacqueline.. I know exactly how you feel. I had felt that way since my twins were born. Have you considered doing direct sales? I know it may sound weird but that's what I did. I researched until I found a product I loved and then decided on a jewelry company.. for a couple of reasons actually. We couldn't afford me going back to work because out daycare costs would have more than what I would make pretty much anywhere in our small town.

I don't want to be spammy so I wont go in to details on the company I went with but it allows me to get of the house (and take my kids with me).. I don't like to do formal parties like some do so we really just sit and chat and talk about different things. I do a quick spiel about the jewelry and business, they check it out and order if they want. We have refreshments and everything.

I know it's not for everyone, but it's helped me a lot and I'm just getting started with it. I get to wear more than pajamas, have fun with friends, meet new people.. have you thought about doing something like this?