So im a 24 yr old SAHM with a beautiful 2 month and a half old boy Jayden. My fiancee is the one who brings home the bacon. But for some reason im just not that happy and i feel so guilty to say it. Since i was little girl i always said " Im' going to have a family young" and i did, but im just short of going insane. Im home all day because my fiancee uses my car to go to work and his car has no A/C and i won't dare put Jayden inside that car with this Miami heat. They days my fiancee is off he spends most of his day working out and training. He's a swimmer. By the time he's home he exhausted, he eats, takes a shower, watch a little t.v. with me and goes to bed, to wake up and start a new work week, leaving me at home alone with the baby for another 4-5 days straight. Do you see where im going here? I feel like im in prison. I try walking around my neighborhood with baby to get fresh air but it's not the same.
I think what im feeling his that i have lost by freedom. I lost who i am. I have become the girl who has her pajamas on till noon, her hair uncombed and grumpy all the time. I was the complete opposite. I have been trying this work from home business, but i didn't think it was going to be so hard. You really have to give it your all, which i can't because i have to give all my attention to my son. So then i considered going back to work, because we can sure use the extra income, but then that mean i will have to put my son in daycare. Which is last thing i want, him getting detached from me.
So im stuck, stuck in so many levels and i don't know how i can get out. All i know is i love being a mom to Jayden and a wife to Jorge, but i need to love myself as well and i'm just not right now!