With all the kids tucked into their beds, I make one last round to ensure their slumber is real and not just a ploy to get me to let my guard down. With eyes closed on all three accounts, I head toward my bedroom to meet an old friend. A confidant that existed in a time when wearing tight jeans was by choice, shaved legs were a priority and life was fueled by a plethora of energy. I climb into bed with my laptop, engross myself in an episode of Sex and the City while plunking my eyebrows and other unwanted facial hair. This is when she makes her appearance – a single girl alter ego that brings a warm familiar feeling that only accompanies seeing an old friend. She can also be conjured while driving alone at night with music of her day blaring, summoning flashbacks of cruising with the car at capacity.
Despite the lengthy interludes between meetings, I know this girl. She is confident, knows what she wants and is optimistic that she will get it. But she is not fearless – one close encounter with a chicken or a child yelling mom in any language and she makes her exit. She is then replaced with the more dominant frumpy-sweatpants wearing-it’s just a chicken-super poop wiper persona. Super poop wiper exists in a time where wearing tight jeans isn’t a choice, shaved legs are a thought when considering a skirt-skip it wear the jeans and where energy comes in a can.
The two personas are mortal enemies at best and, therefore, cannot coexist. Super poop wiper often makes attempts to demolish the single girl alter ego but, forever resilient, she continues to linger in the shadows waiting to emerge through a song or childless moment and make me feel human again.
For most of us SAHMs, our single girl persona was pushed out with our first child; however, she continues to dawdle in the depths of chaos and in order to maintain an identity outside of children, we have to let her back in. Twice a week channel this alter ego by doing something you used to do as a single girl (minus the dating). Take a drive, close yourself in your room for some extensive grooming or visit an old friend.