Now, if the situation was your fault, please, by all means, stand up for what you did, or how you contributed to it, be and adult and admit your wrongdoings. But, if it was out of your control, then here's something for you...
No, wait, before I continue on, just re-read that last line, please. Again. Okay again. Okay, now we can move on.
We women have this amazing tactic of taking all the blame for something, even if we didn't do a damn thing wrong. We figure that somewhere along the lines we screwed up, caused the ball to start rolling in the direction it did. Then... here's the big window into women's minds...
We doubt ourselves...
We start to wonder what we can change about ourselves to make it all better, or better in the future.
We wonder why we weren't "good enough" or "strong enough" to stop whatever it was that happened.
We sit at night and cry about everything, wondering how it all went wrong.
We wonder if it will ever happen again, and if anyone will ever love us again.
We ponder forgiveness.
Okay, DON'T stop that last one, and here's why...
Forgiveness is NOT for them, for the person that did you wrong. Forgiveness is NOT pretending like nothing ever happened, just to potentially be a doormat again. Forgiveness is NOT accepting defeat.
Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. Sometimes the scars left will always be visible, but that doesn't mean that you can never forgive. It just means that you have reminders of what you've been through and that you made it through it, stronger than ever.
Forgiveness is NOT pouring a bottle of raspberry vodka on bed sheets in a 50 gallon drum and setting them on fire... okay, maybe that helps with the healing process some... not that I did that or anything... no, never me...
Forgiveness is for YOU... A way for you to let go of the hurt, of the 30 million thoughts that run through your mind at any given second, to finally find peace in the situation as a whole, and to start over again in your life, whatever direction you choose.
Forgiveness is remembering that you are a strong, beautiful woman who did everything in her power to lead the life she wanted, and whether whatever happened is a speed bump or a brick wall in that life, you have the ability to rise above it and move on.
Forgiveness is picking yourself up, keeping in mind all of the things you have done right in your life, and to make a promise to yourself to continue to do those things and be true to yourself.
And forgiveness is the beginning of the rest of your life. Don't let one act, one moment in your life, define who you are for the rest of your years. Don't become a cynical, negative bag of damaged goods.
You'll know the moment forgiveness has begun, because you'll smile again, you'll remember who you are deep down inside, the beautiful woman that you are, and you'll start to live life again. Things will start happening for you, good things, amazing things, that show you that you are on the right path, and that the healing process has begun. As long as you hang on to the hurt and pain, that's all that will occur in your life, so let it go, free yourself to be everything you know you are.
And keep a bottle of raspberry vodka around, just in case, for many reasons. You never know when it'll come in handy...
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