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As far as bedtimes go, it has been a fairly entertaining evening. I had the privilege of reading the following tid bit to my 5-year-olds from Beatrix Potter's "The Tale of Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle": "They're little dicky shirt-fronts belonging to Tom Tit-mouse..."

My 2-year-old threw herself down on her bedroom floor and kicked around a bit, crying, after I confessed that I had returned "Elmo's Dreidel" when we were at the library today. Luckily, she had selected a new book, "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" (In Bolivia), and we got to sing a few rounds, not only with a pig, a horse and a goat, but also with a chinchilla and a condor.

As a nightcap, I'm sitting down to a batch of kindergarten questionnaires that I've left until the last minute and that I must hand deliver tomorrow morning. I've read a few of the questions and found them to be so enjoyable that I've decided to blog about them as I go. That way, I can be efficient and accurate. I also thought it would be fun for those of you who have not had the pleasure of filling out such forms yourself.

To an early question, "What approach do you take to discipline?" I answered in a fit of honesty, "Threats and bribery."

Next came, "What emergency or unusual episode might arise while the child is in care? How should that be handled?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be sending them to you," I responded.

"Are special materials/equipment needed?" asked the form, I assumed in reference to the maintenance of my children.

"Handcuffs and ropes can be handy," I admitted.

Form: "Other specialists working with your child?"
Me: "You mean their parole officers? I can get their names and numbers to you."

Form: "What scares your child?"
Me: "These questions."

Form: "What soothes your child?"
Me: A Taste of Honey's "Boogie Oogie Oogie"

Form: "Are there particular instructions for sleeping, toileting, diapering or feeding?"
Me: "Yes. Please do all of the above until my twins are 18 at which time you can return them to me."

At this point, my husband took over. So now I can settle in to find out what happened to the rest of Tom Tit-mouse's little dicky shirt-fronts and then catch up on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey."

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