As I get older, and especially now that I have children, I notice more and more of my Mother and Father in my personality. When I was younger I never thought I was very much like them, But surely I am my Mother’s and Father’s Daughter. Their influence as parents is always going to be a part of me, both the good and the bad.
The feeling of happiness and contentment I get while singing to my Daughters is connected to my Mother’s morning singing (my favorite thing to hear upon waking). And when I’m nervous or stressed I bite my nails, like she does. I know my unyielding work ethic is an inheritance from my Father and my tendency to seclude myself is him as well.
Realizing this I observed my Husband…..yep, his parents were written all over him, too! It didn’t really hit me at the time. However as it set in, and I discovered more of my Parent’s influence in me, it got me thinking… I have daughters, and they will have fragments of me and their father, both good and bad. I know that I can’t choose which habits and attributes they adopt, but knowing that they are affected by everything I am and do is making me think about how I behave and what I am teaching them through my actions.
I am cynical, untrusting and judgmental. To a degree I think that all those characteristics need some presence in their lives in order to be objective and overcome bad influence, but too much and it can destroy or altogether prevent relationships that are beneficial and necessary.
I know that who I am cannot be changed (nor should it be), but it can be improved to make a better version of myself. I can be less extreme in my negative behaviors and give them a better example of kindness, love and acceptance.
So I will find what redeeming qualities are still present in our society and savor them. I will work on trusting those who are worthy and learn to appreciate relationships. I will try to accept those who are different from me... and I will do my best to bequeath more desirable fragments of me.