Sometimes life passes us so quickly that we don't have time to stop and realize that the choices that we make really do affect who we are as a person. We rush to work, school, parties and family events. We rush to pay bills, buy fun toys and raise our children. We are constantly pushing ourselves to the next level. When our kids are babies we say I can't wait for them to walk and talk. When they are toddlers we say how we can't wait for them to be preschoolers so they can do certain things. Then when they are in preschool we can't wait for them to be in elementary school. Then suddenly they are in high school, seniors, and ready to graduate to college. And we look back and wish that they were young again. Many women have babies at later stages in life because other children leave the nest and the mothers are left feeling empty. Many women divorce and go out and live the life they say they always wanted, but couldn't because of the children.
Answer me this.....why don't we just live our lives now? If you want to have a great paying job, take the steps to get there. Go to college, work your ass off and get a great job. Want kids? Take the steps neccessary in order to stable your life and become ready to parent a child. If just half of the people in the world stopped living in the future and started just living their lives today, the entire world would be a better place to be. Listen to me...preaching about world peace LOL. I just feel like so much is wasted on the future. Always hoping, dreaming, jumping from one stage to another just to jump to the next in order to what? Make more money? Have better bigger things? Impress people? Why does any of that matter? Why can't we just be happy now?
The answer is simple....our minds won't let us be free. We constantly strive for the future. And if we aren't living in the future, we are stuck in the past. Constantly reliving moments that hurt us, or that were joyful and we want to continue to feel that amazing happiness. Or for some, our minds want to continually feel the pain. I can hear you say..why would we want to feel the pain? The mind is conditioned to be accepting of normal. When you have something in your life for a long period of time, it becomes normal to you. Your mind accepts it. When things change is when the mind freaks out. So even if the normal is painful, it isn't change. That is why so many people jump from abusive relationships to abusive relationships. They only know how to act in those types of relationships. The mind doesn't accept change because it doesn't know how to be. People tend to stick to the same things over and over because for them, they are comfortable.
I believe if just one person every day broke free of those reigns and lived outside of the box, things would begin to change. People would see more clearly, think only when they needed to think and love unconditionally without hurting the hearts of others. I think so many people have clouded their minds with hurt, despair, troubles, wishes, dreams and fantasies that they no longer can see what they have right in front of them. Even the person who may have the most drastic story to tell has some sort of light shining but they can't see it because their vision is blocked. Take for example the Joe Schmoe who just lost his job a month ago. Now his wife leaves and hes not only left with despair and hurt and pain, but also bills that he didn't have before. So now he really thinks he has it bad. All he can think about is how bad it hurts. How upside down his life is. How he just wants his old life back, no matter how much it sucked before. He thinks this because he knows no other way. What he is missing is that now instead of being in a lousy marriage, suffering day to day in a job he hated, he is now free. Free of any responsiblity that keeps him where he is at. He could technically pack up and leave. Move to an area who is looking for work. I know this may mean big changes, maybe not seeing his kids for a few weeks until he settles in at a new place. But the reason he rejects the idea over and over again is because it causes change. The mind can't handle it therefore he continues to live a life of misery and pain. When all he would have to do is say I have to make changes in order to make my life better. I may have to sacrifice a bit, but in the end it will be worth it. And wow life changed.
Many people are programmed almost from birth. The way their parents treat them is how they feel and how they treat others. If you treat your child like they are royalty, deserving nothing but the best and nothing else will do, they will grow up with the attitude that they need everything handed to them and not ever learn the lesson of hard work. Don't blame the children...blame the parents. However...when the children wear off the path they were brought up in, well then that is a different story. IF you have a child who is brought up in a caring loving home and you would think that everything should be just fine, but the child is abusive and hurtful and very angry, you don't want to say that the child is just that way. Something made him that way. Children learn from others...they don't just pick up habits from no where. They learn their behaviors from watching others.
Anyways to end this blog, I just wanted to say that everyone needs to stop, look at what they have, or what they don't have. Set goals for yourself and push yourself to achieve them. Don't get the attitude that you just don't care. And if you do have that attitude, well then don't bitch when your life sucks. You make your life. Your life doesn't make you.

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Tags: birth, blogs, codependent, freedom, parents

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