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Can someone please explain to me why boys are so obsessed with potty humor? I mean literally if I have to hear one more fart jingle I just might loose my mind. Yesterday I went to the bathroom (yes girls poop too) and found myself singing: Beans, beans, good for your heart – the more you eat the more you fart! Somebody please help me get that garbage out of my head!

I know this is probably not news to most of you, but boys find humor in the most repulsive things. It is hard being the only female in a house full of foul mouth, gag inducing males! I never get to have a meal without the words poop, pee, fart, vomit, or maggot floating around in the air. And of course there is always the very exciting ending to most meals with the “let’s see who has the biggest, loudest, wettest burp – which is then followed by a lot of “high fivin” and patting on the back for the winner. I just don’t get it – and I don’t want to get it! I’m a girl dang it!

Of course, now that the boys are getting older, we are slowly moving away from “poop” and “do-do” jokes and heading into the very scary world of “PENIS” everything!! I have heard the word penis so much that now it really doesn’t even faze me. Yesterday my youngest son (6) had a fever and a sore throat – at one point during the day he actually said to me “mom I’m so sick I can’t even feel my penis”. What does that mean – and what should my response be? I just quickly looked down his underpants and said “don’t worry honey – it’s still there” – then I gave him some Motrin. Somebody help me!

Oh and just for giggles and grins – today my 9 year old asked me if I was a girl. Simple enough question to answer – but the next question was – do you have a Va China! What happened? When did my sweet babies start using words like penis and Va China? Although I do have to admit that Va China instead of vagina is pretty darn funny – and I am certain I will now call it that for the rest of my life! My husband and I have never used these words – at least not in front of our children. Where did they learn it and how do I make it stop – somebody please help me!

Maybe I just don't get it because I grew up in a home where we used normal words to describe our body parts – you know – like pee pee and tally wacker. What happened to those days!

See – I told ya’ll – I am way over my head! Life with boys – ain’t it grand! Somebody Please Help Me!

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