This morning I dropped Keenan off at 7:15 a.m. to begin his high school career. What choo talkin’ bout Willis? Yes, somehow I am of the age to have a high schooler and my sweet baby boy has legs covered in hair, a deep voice and fears wedgies. I was specifically instructed to stay as far away from the Senior parking lot as possible when I dropped him and his friend off.
Senior parking lot? That’s your big fear? Because mine are drugs, alcohol, sex, heartbreaks, college, losing you to girls and college life. I am afraid that in just a few short years I will only be seeing you when you come home for the holidays. I wonder where the time went and if I have forgotten to do anything with you that I will one day regret. I question if I have gotten it right? Did I give you all the tools you need for this big step in your life? Can you say NO to your friends when they are pushing alcohol and drugs? Will you treat the girls with respect? Will you be able to weather all the storms that life throws at you? There's more, but just putting that in writing was enough to have me salivating at the site of our liquor cabinet at the ripe old hour of 9:00 a.m.
When Keenan was a tiny tyke, about Colton’s age, I would whisper in his ear every night as I tucked him into bed, “I love you all the way to the moon and back.” The sweetest smile would cross his tiny lips and he would say the same back to me. We haven’t said it in years, because well, that is just WAY UNCOOL.
The other night I was out with a friend and Keenan and I were texting back and forth. At the end of our textersation I sent, “I love you” and he text back, “I love you too.” Fishing, I responded, “How much?” And there it was, just like all those years ago, “All the way to the moon and back.” It brought me to my knees. All I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed with Keenan and hold him so tight like I used to and dream of days when a kiss on his scraped knee could make everything all right. Speaking of WAY UNCOOL, can you imagine his horror?
Last night as I was tucking him into bed he said to me, “I don’t know how I am going to do at this high school thing mom. What if I don’t make any friends because I am afraid to talk to new people?” I stayed with him for twenty minutes and we joked and talked. I reminded him how handsome and smart and athletic he is. I told him when he walks up to the girls to think, “What else could you want?” Is that wrong? “Most importantly,” I said, “When you get uncomfortable, just remember you have the coolest mom in the world.” And there it was. The same smile on his face as the one that used to appear all those years ago when I tucked him into bed and said, “I love you all the way to the moon and back.” Only this time, it came with an eye roll.