"Kailie, stay with me."
"Cole, don't touch that, we keep our hands to ourselves."
"Victoria Grace! You must hold Mommy's hand," I say in a matter of 5 seconds flat as I attempt to navigate the department store in the mall with my daycare kids and my daughter while thanking God Elijah had preschool today. Of course we get stopped by a department clerk wanting to chat about how cute my kids are and wondering if Kailie and Cole are twins, while I'm thinking, "Seriously, lets cut the chitchat. The sooner I get out of here the lesser are my chances of a meltdown amongst the little natives."
"You're kids are so cute, look at all that blond hair and blue eyes. Your kids must keep you busy? But I bet your twins help out a lot don't they?"
"Nope they aren't twins, they aren't even related." I reply while lifting Tori back up on her feet as she pretends to be a lifeless body hanging by my hand. As we romp through the rest of the mall, I grit my teeth while watching other mall shoppers look at me. The looks they communicate vary from
"Why is she shopping with all those kids," to "Seriously, you couldn't keep your husband off you?" to "Either that lady is insane or oblivious to her kids antics, how did she let herself go like that?" To which I want to wear a sign or use a horn to shout out, "No these are not my kids, except the youngest, I do use birth control, I didn't get a chance to get dressed this morning and this was my ONLY shot to getting gifts for my husband. AND its hard to get a babysitter when I AM THE BABYSITTER!" Does anyone out there know what I'm talking about?
Usually when I shop I am dressed in my best and don't have kiddies in tow, but now that my husband is in school on top of working, those days of being dressed nicely and shopping kid free are long gone. The icing on the cake was when I ran into a co-worker from my past. We never really got along, and she was of course calm, cool, collected dressed in her glamorous best while I was dressed in my big blue MY HUSBAND ROCKS sweatshirt over the top of a sports bra (for those of you who know me, we all know what a shock this is, as I never leave the house without make up on, hair done, boots on, and of course a fashionable non-mommy conforming outfit).
She sized me up in one glance, sweatshirt, baggy jeans, and naughty kids in all as if to say, "Hmm, wow Heather you've done a lot since our working days together. You've managed to pop out a few kids and let yourself go." Moments like this make it hard to remember that I'm exactly where God planted me. I'm a WAHM caring for my babies while sacrificing the corporate world so my kids can be at home with me. My ministry is my family. My working hours are 24/7 with no sick days...and no one to turn in my two weeks notice for that matter. Over the past four years as a WAHM, I've learned more lessons than my kids have about life and myself for that matter. Each passing day is a new opportunity to be selfless and set the example. Most days I don't even think about the fact that I'm not wearing designer clothes or that I haven't been able to shower yet. Instead I'm enjoying the funny comments my kids make as they play in their imaginary world of being Grandpa's and Bioncles, or being lizards that even poop. I get to experience the world in their eyes, along with enjoying the little things in life, like coloring a picture, stickers, creating friendships, and making chores fun.
Don't get me wrong, motherhood isn't all its cracked up to be when I'm wading the waters of potty training, cleaning poop of the floor, fixing broken lamps, and putting my kids in time out for 18th time for the SAME offense. It's in the moments of fumpiness, tantrums, and running into old co-workers that God is prying off the doors of pride and self absorption to tell me, "Remember Heather, you need to set your eyes on the prize ahead of you. Look neither to the right, nor the left. Forget about what this world is telling you. Look into your heart and remember what I am telling you, for you are not a part of this world and the lessons I am teaching you are meant to change you to be more like my Son. It's your heart I'm after and life is about molding yourself into what I created you to be."
With that said, I'm back into my comfy sweatpants and sports bra to take in a few moments of quiet time while the kids rest while forgetting about glamorous people so I can focus on what God has before me today. Any of you ladies out there feel the same way? Shoot me a comment, I'd love to chat!