You see these little germy bastards right here?
These little bastards have totally invaded my home over the past couple of weeks. First it was my husband, then my daughter, then me, and then my daughter once again. And for the life of me, I just don't get it. I mean, did we not all read this stupid friggin' book to our toddlers a gazillion and one times back in the day:
Have people seriously forgotten that whole thing about singing the entire "Happy Birthday" song all the way through from beginning to end whenever they wash their damn hands??!! Honestly, how in the name of Dial are we continuing to spread these little turds around so dang much??!!
And I tell ya, when you've been climbing the walls with cabin fever, you get to a point where you'll do just about anything to get the cooties out of your living space once and for all. That's why I'm about to get all biological agent up in here and hire a crew of these dudes to come in and fumigate the crap out of Casa Nucking Futs:
Two straight days in the house is a little too much for this chick here. A person can only watch so much of the Disney channel before she starts fantasizing about killing unicorns, you know. Perhaps it would be best if we all just kept our hands to ourselves from now on, no?