Have you ever met that perfect mom whose baby was on a perfect schedule, ate perfectly every 2 hours, slept perfectly practically all night, held its head perfectly practically from birth, perfectly reached every milestone, perfectly said "mama" and "dada" at 8 months, and perfectly counted to 10 at 18 months...

...and next to her you felt perfectly incompetent as a mom?

Didn't you just want to knock her perfect little world right off its perfect little axis????

The fact of that matter is that some babies just don't care about anyone's schedule or milestone chart!  They don't know about by-the-clock every-two-hour feeds or the Babywise eat, play, sleep routine.  And don't get me wrong, I am not against Babywise or any other method, if it works.  I personally like Babywise.

However, I am not for anything that

1. Causes a mom to feel that she is inadequate as a mother because she can't seem to get her baby to follow a schedule that someone feels they ought to maintain


2. Causes unnecessary stress, especially in the first few months.

Please don't misunderstand me, I am in favor of schedules and routine.  Goodness knows I couldn't function without having a routine in place.  However, new moms especially must bear in mind a couple of things:

1. Newborns often don't take to schedules (scheduled feed and sleep times) the first month or two.  At least this has been my experience with both of my sons.

2. Your schedule or routine will vary often the first year as your baby's feed and sleep times will change as they grow less frequent.  

I struggled with this after having Robi.  I read the books and was confident in my abilities to maintain a good schedule with Robi.  The problem was that no one clued Robi in...or if they did, he didn't care.  Add to that the fact that Robi has never liked to sleep.  It took us over a year to get to where we are now, where he will actually go to his room by himself at naptime and bedtime.  And let me tell you, I earned every grey hair I gained in getting to this point!  But half of them I gained in that first month trying to get my 1-month old to understand that "Babywise says you need to be on a 2.5-3 hour schedule".  

With Andrej I scrapped the whole schedule idea and have just recently begun helping him get into a routine. 

My advise to new moms is to not sweat the schedules the first month or two.  If you can get by with living off the cuff for the first month, do it!  After that begin working slowly toward a schedule, but bear in mind that nothing will be set in stone until your baby is a year old or so.

And most of all, don't let those perfect moms get to you.  

Because things are rarely as they seem!

Thank you for sharing...

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1. Katie Perera

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Concord, NC, United States

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