overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and sometimes even fed up being a parent, you
are expected to make an immediate decision that requires clear, concise,
sensible fair discipline rules. Result based discipline tactics will help parents
not get entangled in discipline traps that cause much frustration and repeat
Many parents have said to me that one area of parenting they hate, yes hate, the most is the area of discipline. I can totally understand that. Not only is
it daunting but it makes me feel guilty and rather down for the rest of the day
whenever I have to discipline my kids, and, many times I would do it wrong or
forget the rules. But, now after 19 years of parenting a now teenager and 5
years of parenting my now 5 year old, I have the discipline area down pretty
pat, which has helped me make great strides in disciplining with success and
having less repeat offenses by my kids.
Here are some discipline tactics to help you avoid the traps and get a more positive experience out of your efforts.
1. One Style Does Not Fit All
Our grandmothers or even mothers will tell us what they found to be affective when disciplining their children. Their approach back then was
simple. One method of discipline was used on all the kids. However, it is
important to remember that children are all different, especially when it comes
to the way they handle being disciplined or scolded. Some children are rather
sensitive and can't handle being spoken to sharply, while others are not the
least bit bothered. Some will learn quickly while others will take more time,
needing repetition when the situation arises again. And some need to express
themselves rather loudly before they can begin to hear what you are saying to
them. So in a nutshell, children have different temperaments, so be sure to
select discipline tactics that suit the individual.
2. Understanding Where and Who They Are In Life
limits as a parent. Tweens are searching for their independence from their
parents, wanting to prove to themselves that they can get on with you. This
usually shows itself through odd or crazy behavior, again resulting in your
need to repeat yourself and reinforce punishment. Neither one of these age
groups is interested in listening to a long lecture.
appropriate boundaries and with this, does not necessarily come perfection.
Both tween and toddler will usually be repeat offenders putting your discipline
tactics and your parenting to the test.
issues. Ensure the punishment fits the crime as opposed to the punishment
fitting your level of frustration and agitation. Ensuring you are able to
uphold the punishment is another part of not over doing it. It's tough I know,
but think about the punishment before you inflict it. Don't tell your toddler
he can't go to the party if you yourself have to be there for some reason.
Don't tell your tween he has to stay home all day and not go out unless you
know for sure that you yourself don't have to go that day.
realistic. Another good idea and a very helpful one if you ask me, is to have a
single word or phrase that you use on your kids when they are getting out of
line or showing signs they are about to be repeat offenders. Whatever the
phrase you choose, don't shout it but rather use a firm tone of voice, a stern
serious face, and a glare that lets them know you are not kidding and will
shove out the disciplinary measure if you need to. This is also good because
you are giving your child the chance to make the right decision on his own
before slamming down the discipline.
4. Underdoing it
I used to be famous for this one when my teenager was a toddler. Simply voicing to your child he is going to get into trouble at the moment he is doing something not right, is really not going to work. Good parenting discipline
tactics require that your approach be more direct and firm. Going over to your
child and helping him do the right thing and then giving him another chance to
play nicely is a better approach.
Think about what would be the most effective punishment. Canceling sports if your child really doesn't like it that much is really not accomplishing anything. Make sure the punishment or discipline measure is one that will help
him think twice the next time and one that he will feel the consequences of his actions. My daughter’s favorite thing in the whole day is pretty much her night time story before bed. Taking this away as a punishment worked but then she grew a little older and it didn't work anymore so keep up with your child's
movement when it comes the things he loves, hates or couldn't care all that
If you sometimes allow something (for whatever reasons), and then sometimes don't allow it, you are confusing your child, especially young ones. Children know very well that they can often times soften up mom and dad or that mom and dad will let something slide, so they use it to their advantage. Sometimes
parents get caught up in whatever they are doing at the time and their kids get
away with doing things they shouldn't. Consistency is key to how long it
will take for your child to stop being a repeat offender in the same area.
however, if you say it is for the entire day then you can't back off from that
in the evening when you are busy doing something and don't want your child
underfoot. Your child will learn that you are not serious or that the
punishment will cease as soon as you are busy.
6. Using the positive to wipe out the negative
relationship. This can be the case with a child that doesn't listen well and is
always somehow in trouble.
One of the things these parents can do is to observe the good behavior no
it. If your child is sitting and playing nicely with is playmates as opposed to
fighting and taking away toys then praise him for it even if it is for five
minutes. Use this technique and you will find it makes a world of difference
because most children want to please their parents and noticing their good behavior
will help them want to do good more often.
Another good parenting disciple tactic is when you go out with your kids and
they will be naughty. Instead, let them know how they can help you and get them
involved in some tasks and offer a reward for good helpful behavior. Give your
kids the opportunity to prove you wrong and behave themselves, as opposed to
assuming right away they are going to be naughty. Show them you have faith in
In conclusion discipline is really about showing your kids how much you love
Michel Jayne has 22 years parenting experience, with a teenager and preschooler under her wings. She extends an invitation for you to receive baby sleep help on the house! Also get parenting tips, tricks and solutions to raising kids, having a good relationship with your spouse, and keeping your family healthy at The Parent Fairy. Plus, get your baby sleeping through the night every night.