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At what point did I let Granny panties pass as everyday panties?

Granny panties, Aunt Flo panties, mom panties. Call them what you want, but I know you know what I’m talking about. I realize many of you wear adorable matching panties and bras every day of the week and probably can’t believe I’m writing about this. Eff-it, I’m 40. Deal with it. For the moms who have given up on looking cute underneath it all, I know I’m not alone.

You reach a point as a mother where you just say, it is what it is. “I’ve taken a shower, I’ve sprayed my outfit with Fabreze. This pair of panties from the clean clothes pile will have to do.” Now, I believe in working out and staying in shape (aside from good health, I work out so I can eat more and make room for my kids’ leftovers). I also promise myself to take a shower every day. But when it comes to unattractive and mismatched undergarments, I take the cake more than I care to admit. I do try. I have bought some expensive matching under-outfits through the years. I wash them and wear them here and there. But some of the prettiest bras stay tucked neatly inside my drawer for months on end, never to be paired with panties that at least fall in the same color family.

I loathe going to that bra store in the mall where there are skinny 20-somethings donning Triple D matching bras and tanks searching the display drawers for the perfect thong. For some reason, they are almost always with their boyfriends and five girlfriends. They are all searching for thongs. Honey, let me tell you and your five girlfriends something. I haven’t worn a thong in 11 years. I’ve tried. But if you dare make me laugh or ask me to jump up and down while I have one on, don’t think I won’t drive home and slap on a pair of mismatched granny panties just so I can feel more comfortable. You reach a certain point when you become a mother where something has to give. Every Monday, my bra and panties match. Sometimes on Tuesdays too. But by Thursday afternoon, I’m sporting a look underneath it all that makes Tootsie look sexy.

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