Being diagnosed with a copious amount of mental illnesses, one being Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, I literally became obsessed with mental health. I learned everything I could. I read books, searched the internet asked my psychologist, psychiatrist, school social worker, pediatrician and on and on and on... I was 14, scared, obsessive, angry, hormonal...that list goes on as well.
To talk a little more in depth about my history, my mother noticed I was "different" when I turned a year old. She said I had a bad temper and would scratch, bite and spit. I was very clingy and nervous. When I entered Kindergarten, my mom tried talking to the special ed. department because I couldn't focus, was the only kid still bouncing off the walls and refusing to take a nap at nap time or at all. Nobody listened to her. This all went on for years and when I entered adolescents, things became much worse. When I was 14 I went after my mom with a butcher knife. My grandmother knocked me to the ground and I somehow snapped out of my rage. My mom called the police, and my rage came back. By the time the police got there, I needed to be restrained by them. I was taken to a local hospital where I was placed in the psych ward for the rest of the night. The next morning I was taken to an adolescent psychiatric hospital where I remained for a little over a week. I was scared and angry that my parents put me in a place like this. Being Bipolar II I had more days of normalcy than I did being "bipolar." So seeing these other kids that were in much worse shape than I was terrifying. After a couple of days, I came to the realization that if I didn't step it up, they were going to make me stay. Mind you, they still would not diagnose me with ANYTHING at this point because of my age. So, I got to leave. A month later, I attempted suicide for the first time by taking over 100 ibuprofen with Vodka. I was taken to the hospital and had to drink charcoal until I threw up. I asked my mom if I could go back to the psychiatric hospital. This time my arms were in terrible shape. I had been a cutter since the age of 11. By the time I was 14 it became much worse. I went back to the hospital and threw myself into therapies and fitness. I left a week after I entered. I decided to remain out of school for the rest of the school year after this visit. I went back after my 1st stint in the hospital and came back to no friends, just bullies. I have cousins that are my age that I was very close to and even they were starting rumors and "afraid" of me. It played a big role in my suicide attempt...After this I started seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist and was diagnosed with Bipolar II, Anxiety, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It was a blessing and a curse.
I wanted to write about this because so many people are becoming more aware of the mental illness that plague or youth. I will be the first to admit that children are over diagnosed nowadays. I had a pretty general story for a kid who was diagnosed. I showed all the classic signs and my diagnosis was not taken lightly.
That's all for now! A little more serious tonight...one of those days :)