Today my husband and I will celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Most people make huge deals out of milestones like 10, 25, or 50 but anyone who's married will tell you that every year is a milestone and should be celebrated. Every day is a celebration truly because marriage is hard work and most don't make it. I don't know if we will be one of the exceptions but I do know we've made it this far and it should be celebrated.
My husband's first marriage did not last three years and we always joke if we made it over that hurdle we were golden. We've been together seven years total in November. He is my answered prayer, my "Something Better". Seven years ago I was living in Philadelphia about to graduate from grad school and involved with someone that had his fair share of issues. I had begun reading my bible more and watching Dr. Charles Stanley minister on television. I was not attending church because I worked every weekend so Dr. Stanley was my church service. I do feel it's very important to attend church service although some people don't. But I feel that it gives you fuel for the week to come. It keeps you going on the sometimes smooth, often times bumpy roads but I digress. Anyway after watching him one day I got down on my knees and prayed for something better because I know that God only wants the best for me and He has the best to give each of us.
Chris and I had our first and last date in September of 2002 we made plans to get together for Thanksgiving when I would be home again. Then he fell of the face of the Earth at least that's what I thought at the time. Really God removed him from the picture to give me time to see what He had in store for me. I remember even up until the night before Thanksgiving I thought that I would see him but I never heard from him. I went out with my girlfriend Paulina to the Green Door (that's where Chris and I were suppose to meet). No Chris though. While we were waiting outside we were talking and this really nosey guy(my Pokey)got involved in our conversation. How annoying! I couldn't believe that he was interrupting our conversation and I turned around and let my friend talk to him. He happened to know someone we were talking about. It turns out that the guy we were talking about was going to introduce the nosey guy to my friend Paulina. But the whole night nosey guy was bothering me and trying to get my attention. The Lord does works in mysterious ways and he certainly did that night. I thought he was so annoying and all I wanted was for Chris to show up. At the end of the night, my friend ended up giving nosey guy a ride to his friends (who dissed him) and he ended up sleeping at my friends house. He could of been some lunatic. When she dropped me off he asked for my number and I told him that I lived in Philly and if he wanted it he could get it from my friend. He was drunk and just wouldn't shut up (now I know that's an inherited thing). I got out of the car pissed at the world and went inside. End of story. The next day he called me and left a message about getting together. I flipped out and called my friend and asked her why she gave him my number. She convinced me to call him and I did. We went out to dinner the next night and we've been together ever since then. I remember thinking that night maybe he was sent to me by God, maybe he was my something better. Chris did call me sometime the next month but I ignored his call because I was still pissed. He called me again and by this time I knew that I really liked the with nosey guy, my Pokey. In those months I grew to care deeply for my husband even though I still cared for Chris and I know that if I had talked to him, I probably wouldn't be celebrating my anniversary today. God removed him from my life long enough for me to fall in love and when he reappeared I was over being with him. Chris and I had a complicated relationship and I will always love him but I'm blessed that God loved me more and picked my husband out specially for me.
My husband is a wonderful man although I don't tell him enough. I don't know if he knows that God picked me for him too. My husband had never dated a person of color before yet that night he pursued me and after being shot down he still called me the next day. Coming from the home he did I can't believe he would even approach me. But he did and that was God working. He was so excited to introduce me to his parents with such joy and naivety. All he seemed to care about was the fact that he had met this girl and he wanted his parents, especially his mom to meet me. He jumped into interracial dating with both feet and I admire him for that even though he had no clue how complicated it would be to love a strong black woman. He immediately wanted to attend church with me even after I warned him that we had like two white people in our church. He was immediately welcomed there. My mom was a hard egg to crack but he eventually showed her how much he cared for me and won her over. We have had our ups and downs through the years like unfinished business and infertility struggles but we're still dedicated to each other and our marriage. I feel that God has so much more planned for us and I look forward to this journey with him. He is my life partner, my something better, and my answered prayer for better and for worse.
I hope he knows how much I love him even when I'm angry with him because if I didn't love him deeply the things he does to anger or hurt me wouldn't even phase me. So today we will celebrate our love and our dedication to each other. We will reflect on our the past and look hopefully and prayerfully towards the future. I am so blessed that God loved me enough to send me a man that would love me on my worst days and raise me up on my best days. Thank you Pokey, for loving me and Happy Anniversary.