Happy very first ever Father's Day. I hope you have a very lovely day.
On days like today I am supposed to tell you all the reasons why I love you absolutely loads. But first I am going to tell you all the things I don't love about you.
I don't love it when you have a scratchy face. So don't expect a kiss on those days. Or stop it. It's up to you.
I don't love that you are quicker off the mark than Mum is, cause when I'm with you I can't get up to very much naughty/messy/dangerous stuff.
I don't love it when you dress me, because you pick stuff that doesn't match.
I don't love it that it's your job to clean the bathroom, because you don't do it often or well enough (though mainly Mum asked me to put that on the list)
I don't love going in your car because it smells like an old man's bum.
But mostly, I don't love that you go to work for probably, like, every single day. It's dead boring that.
So that's just some stuff you need to sort out. Have a think about it and let me know what's happening with it all.