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Helping Shape Children’s Expectations

We parents often have high expectations from our children. It is a natural way of thinking because we take pride in giving much of our time and energy in molding their characters.

Just a few weeks ago my children had their 2nd grading final exams. Now in only a few days, they will be receiving their report cards again.

But I’m the type of mother who doesn’t force my children to study very, very hard.

I just remind them to listen well in class, take down the necessary notes, and if there’s anything they don’t understand, to let me know so I can help them with that lesson.

After doing their homework in the afternoon, they are free to watch television or play.

I have this mindset, that as long as they get a grade of 80% and above, that’s okay with me.

However, after this last exam period, my son was thrilled to know that he got scores higher than the last grading in his final exams. he said he even noticed their classroom adviser, looking at him smiling while holding some certificates which he did not yet allow the students to see. One classmate of my son also told him, he is in the Top 10 of his class this grading period.

I can see the excitement in the eyes of my son whenever he gets home this week and there are more hints of him being in the honor roll for this grading period.

It makes me proud too, thinking about it.

But I really don’t want to set such a high expectation for now.

My son is good in a lot of things but because of ADHD, he has had a hard time keeping up in class for the past years. It’s a fact my husband and I have accepted, so we don’t want to expect very much.

However, I do know his condition is getting better. With the attention and help we are giving him, he has shown considerable progress…

So it’s not unlikely he could really be getting better in school :)

I do want to cheer my son all the time…but I also tell him, that if ever, his assumption will not be realized this grading period…that it’s perfectly alright…

Because we, his family, know he studied harder this time and we have seen his commitment to be better.

Such advice, is not meant to destroy a child’s enthusiasm but it’s to help them accept whatever would be the outcome on the next days. this will also help them be aware that we, their parents see and appreciate the efforts they do to be good in school and other things. Moreover, I’d like my son to know that we accept him for all that he is.

When you’re children express their expectations from themselves, how do you support or handle them? I’d love to know your insights :)

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